Love Don't Cost a Thing... or Does It?

I don't know if I believe this rumor but the latest going around says J-Lo and Marc Anthony may be having problems and are heading for divorce.. if they do divorce, I hope J-Lo has a pre nup.. though they were seen together last night for a dinner date.. which could mean nothing because MaDonna and Guy tried pulling that and look at what finally emerged...

this is a pic from last night.. any body language experts out there?

I Wanna See Bronx!

Ashlee and Pete have an upcoming photospread with PEOPLE coming out but no sighting of Bronx :( These two really seem all about each other..especially after hearing the racy interview Pete gave to Letterman about um all their intimate moments.. haha Ashlee looks awesome for just giving birth!

Barbie Bentley

Leave it to Paris to get a car that looks like the one my Barbie had when I was 5.. though, not gonna lie, I love it!!! She had a pink Bentley custom made.. now she really DOES live the Barbie life.. blonde, boyfriends and clothes galore, beach house, pink Bentley! Jealousssssss

Mischa's Ex Jailed

Now they have something else in common... jail time.. Cisco Adler was arrested for punching a club employee in the face.. He was arrested for simple assault and bailed out at $500 bucks.. boring.. if you're gonna get jailed, make it good..

Jeremy Piven is Turning into a Thermometer?

Jeremy Piven has dropped out of his Broadway play, Speed-the-Plow. He is said to be suffering from "shocking levels" of mercury in his system from eating too much sushi and Chinese herbs. How weird is that? His doctor made him drop the play but not too many people are pleased.

After a battery of tests failed to reveal what was ailing the three-time Emmy winner, Colker checked his "heavy metals" and was "absolutely stunned" to find mercury at a level "almost six times the upper limit of normal and allowable," says the doctor. "It's the highest level I've ever seen."

His doctor says, "He's disappointed that I had to pull the plug," says Colker. "But I think he's hurt more by the comments that he's not trying or that he walked away. He's been working straight for 30 years. He doesn't walk away; I tore him away from it."

He's referring to the somewhat cruel, but hilarious, comment made by the playwright of Speed-the-Plow. He had said: "I talked to Jeremy on the phone and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury. So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

Katie's 30th Birthday

Can you believe Joey from Dawson's creek is married with a child and turning 30? I feel so old.. Anyways, no matter how weird the world thinks Tom Cruise is.. you can't say he isn't sweet.. After Katie's performance last night on stage, the crew surprised her by wheeling out a five-tiered, white-frosted, circular birthday cake! That sounds like a wedding cake to me, nevermind birthday... but anyways, it was Tom's idea.. he couldn't be there in person but wanted all to celebrate.. how romantic :)

FINALLY! PDA

I officially believe the Aniston/Mayer rumors..haha There's pics of them finally looking like a couple... some interaction, flirting... woo hoo

There's no "desk" in Kelly Kapowski's "classroom"...and MORE!!!

First Obama is elected President, now he's Man of the Year. (smack)

Chyna may have lost her looks and her mind, but she hasn't lost her big ass boobs. (candy)

Ryan Phillippe travels back to the 90's with the "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the face don't understand!" move. (ayyyy)

Saved by the Bell alum NOT knocked up. (POTP)

Jessica Alba joining Jack Black on the post-Super Bowl episode of The Office! (gabby)

This girl looks WAY too nice to be dating K-Fed. (bitten)

Jim Carrey speaks depression. (yuddy)

Tomko in danger of getting released by WWE? (wrestling)

Merry Chrism-anna-kwanz-aka!!

To my Dirty Friends-

I'm on vacation for a couple of weeks and probably won't be around to blog. It's not like I'll be gone the entire 2 weeks, but I'll be suffering from a severe case of laziness. So if I'm not around to wish you a Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Happy Kwanzaa, consider this your Happy Holidays wish!! I'll miss you all terribly. Especially you over there...yeah, you. The one on the left in the thong. No Jackson, not you...I meant the girl.

Happy Holidays everyone...catch you in a couple weeks!!!

- Jaddicus Maximus

Don't touch Lindsay Lohan or you get arrested

I realize with the title that I kinda made it sound like Lindsay Lohan is a total diva and you can't even shake her hand without getting arrested -- not completely true. Lindsay and her boo Samantha Ronson were outside the Jackrabbit Lounge in Scottsdale, AZ last night when a 38-year-old man got past a security guard and lunged at Lindsay.

I have to admit that's gotta be somewhat scary for a 22-year-old girl, even if it IS Lindsay, to have a guy just about old enough to be your father lunge at you, probably with the intention of grabbing a handful of ta-tas.

Mark Ruffalo's brother's death ruled homicide

Even though the suspect in Mark Ruffalo's brother Scott's death said that he shot himself during a game of russian roulette, police have ruled Scott's death as a homicide. The suspect, Shaha Mishaal Adham (that's a female, in case you're keeping score at home) said there were 2 eyewitnesses that saw a bullet hole on the left side of his head, and one of them saw him pull the trigger.

Update: Shaha was released after there was no GSR (gunshot residue..again, huge CSI fan) found on her clothing, and police haven't requested another meeting with her. There are no suspects in custody right now.

Brangelina has no pre-nup

Contrary to reports in Star magazine, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie do not have a prenuptial agreement that's estimated at $200 million. Star reported that they signed the deal before a planned walk down the aisle, and also claimed that Angie is pregnant, but a rep for her killed both of Star's reports.

A $200 mil prenup? Seriously? That would've been ridiculous.

"Dirty Quotes" with Owen Wilson

"Hey there, Mr. Lifeguard. I figured since OD'ing on pills didn't work, I'd try drowning myself. I'm 0-for-2."

Whitney Port helps Rwandan women

Ya know, at least when Whitney Port wants some press, she doesn't follow in the footsteps of her Hills co-stars the Douchiest Douchebags Heidi and Spencer. Those two flakes only want press that benefit themselves, and even if Whitney is doing this for press, at least it's a goodwill sort of deal. She's helping Rwandan women provide for themselves and their children by teaming up with Rwanda Community Works to make and distribute handmade scarves through her Whitney Eve fashion line. She blogged about helping out the women.

This process allowed the women to not only have careers, but help in creating a sustainable economy in their villages as well. All the proceeds go to these very women so they can live a healthy life and be able to provide such things as health insurance for their families -- something we all take for granted.

'Tis the season of giving, my friends. Whitney is not on the naughty list this year.

Heidi and Spencer fake another marriage?

I can't explain how f**king annoyed these two douchebags make me. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt faked marriage vows about a month ago in Mexico, and did it for a mixture of their stupid ass MTV show The Hills and for some publicity on the cover of Us Weekly. Even though they say the vows were legit, they conveniently didn't take all the steps to make a marriage in Mexico official. To make their marriage official, they went to a Beverly Hills courthouse to get married, and of course brought along the MTV cameras to catch all the action.

But that's the thing -- it's not even known if they went through with the nuptials. MTV released a statement saying that Speidi went to the courthouse to exchange vows, but didn't say whether they actually did or not. Teasers for the season finale of The Hills have them in the courthouse with Heidi starting to say the whole, "I, Heidi, take thee, Spencer..." crap, and then the promo cuts off. And of course there's stupid drama surrounding the whole situation, with rumors going around of Heidi getting upset and running out of the room and possibly not completing the vows.

Seriously, can we please boycott this stupid show? Because I'm SO sick of these 2 that I'm almost tempted to run them down with a car just so their annoying asses are laid up in a hospital and I don't have to see them on my TV every f**king 4 minutes.

David Hasselhoff is taking over the world

First, he saved us from drowning in the ocean on Baywatch, then he kept the streets free of crime as a detective in Baywatch Nights, then decided to lay the smack down as a judge America's Got Talent, and now, David Hasselhoff is going to be performing the National Anthem at the Las Vegas Bowl. The reason why? The Guinness Book of World Records has him listed as the most watched television star in the world. Seriously, I can't make this sh*t up. Check out a video of him singing below. It'll make you not want to miss the Las Vegas Bowl.

Brian Giles a woman beater?

I don't wanna say I don't believe this, considering this wouldn't be the first time a Major League Baseball player beat his wife (hello David Justice, who beat his then-wife Halle Berry about 10 years ago), but San Diego Padres' outfielder Brian Giles is being accused of not only verbally and physically abusing his ex-girlfriend Cheri Olivera, but causing a miscarriage. Video has surfaced of a man that's supposed to be Brian walking into a bar and grabbing Cheri by the hair, then bringing her to a back room and slapping her to the ground. But I don't know...I can't picture someone in the public eye being dumb enough to beat their significant other in public, which makes me doubt that it's him. Check out the video below.

Faith Hill and Reba McEntire are cougars

Hey, for once it's not me being a pig. Fox News named both Reba and Faith as two of the 40 Hottest over 40 Hotties, putting Faith in the #3 spot and Reba all the way back at the #40 spot. Agree or disagree?

I definitely say Faith is MEGA hot, but Reba...eh. She's not ugly. I mean, she's definitely attractive, but her smile kinda creeps me out.

Lisa Rinna wants to get naked

Lisa Rinna, whose most recent claim-to-fame was appearing on the 2nd season of Dancing with the Stars, has said she wants to bare all and pose for Playboy.

If it happens, expect it to be the biggest issue of Playboy ever. No, literally -- they're gonna need a crapload of room for those fake ass lips.

Former "Bond girl" killed

Former "Bond girl" Celine Cawley, who appeared in A Time to Kill during Roger Moore's reign as James Bond, was found unconscious on the patio of her home in Ireland a couple of days ago and died about an hour later. The autopsy showed that she died from a blunt force trauma to the head (can you tell I love CSI?) -- in words that you can understand, someone hit her with something in the head that probably cracked part of her skull and she died. Her husband told police he was walking the dogs when he saw a man in his mid-to-late 20s fleeing the scene in a mask.

So...the husband saw the person from a distance, and could tell that it was not only a man, but that the person was in their mid-to-late 20s? Pretty specific description for someone wearing a mask. You smell what I'm cookin?

Mindy McCready tries suicide

Mindy Mccready confirmed yesterday that she's the biggest mess in country music since the Dixie Chicks actually thought people cared about their opinions. Mindy tried killing herself yesterday morning by cutting her wrists. Nashville Police said that Mindy ended up calling her roommate's mother and said some stuff that got the mother concerned, so she called the cops.

I'm predicting it right now -- if Dr. Drew does a Celebrity Rehab 3, she'll be on it.

Jodie Sweetin needs supervision with child

Former child star-turned-train wreck Jodie Sweetin is no longer allowed to be alone with her 8-month-old daughter have a court hearing for custody of the little girl. Jodie and her husband, Cody Herpin, are in the middle of a messy divorce, and Cody threw the knockout punch during the custody hearing. He told the judge that she's an unfit mother, and that Jodie has actually driven drunk with her daughter in the car before. That's all the judge needed to hear about to grant full custody to Cody and rule that Jodie can only have supervised visitation.

Want proof that meth and booze can ruin your life? There ya go.

Katy Perry is engaged...and MORE!!!

The winner of Survivor: Gabon, Bob Crowley, is interviewed!! (smack)

Ashlee Simpson likes it up the poop shoot. Seriously. (candy)

Tom Cruise uses his Scientology powers to put baby in a trance. (ayyyy)

Britney and Ellen spread the Holiday cheer. (POTP)

Katy Perry kissed a Gym Class Hero and she liked it...so much that she's engaged. (gabby)

Stevie Wonder will dance his blind ass off on Dancing with the Stars. (bitten)

**SPOILER ALERT** New tag team champions crowned in TNA? (wrestling)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck bitchyness finally catches up to her

Elisabeth Hasselbeck's totally bitch-osity made her look like such an A-hole that it makes me smile to report this story. At the start of yesterday's The View, she was complaining about how she wasn't invited to the annual White House Christmas party.

I love Christmas cards. I love getting them. There is one in particular that I usually like, and it's an invitation to the White House Christmas party. Not the big one but the 20th one down the road that you get the leftovers at the party. I'd be going to that one. No invitation this year.

Turns out something got messed up along the way and she actually was invited to the party. She got a call from the White House after The View saying that she had been on the invitation list and they were sorry that the invite never made it to her. If I were on the staff that takes care of the party, I would've told her to F-off.

"Dirty Thoughts" with Kellie Pickler

"Maybe if I show that I want peace, no one will notice how much I look like absolute crap."

(Now that I've taken my cheap shot, kudos to Kellie, who has no make-up on and looks like poop because she was on her way to perform for the troops in Iraq.)

Kanye West goes from rapper to intern

Wanting to follow in the footsteps of Diddy and every other person who has gone from their day job to becoming a designer, Kanye West has decided it's time to pick up a sketch pad and making a clothing line. But, in a real non-douchey and smart move, he's not jumping right into it. He's decided to take up an internship first for some direction.

I'm going to go and take an internship and just do something that's like completely normal, and just rap at the weekends or something.

That, my friends, is a case of a millionaire using their money in a very smart way.

Dizzee Rascal arrested for road rage

London rapper Dizzee Rascal was arrested for road rage after pulling a baseball bat out on a motorist. It wasn't used, but Dizzee got out of his car with the bat and walked toward the motorist, but luckily there was an officer nearby who found it pretty awkward, so they squashed the situation right away and arrested Dizzee.

And I must ask...Dizzee Rascal who?

Melissa Etheridge and Elisabeth Hasselbeck do a little tango

Melissa Etheridge was a guest on The View yesterday and was slated to just talk about her new CD and perform a Christmas song, but it turned into a little mini-debate between Melissa and Elisabeth Hasselbeck about her stance on gay marriage. To Elisabeth's credit, she didn't get douchey and backed down to try and avoid a heated argument, then Sherri Shepherd saved her ass and squashed the debate, but it's still a bit entertaining. Check it out below.

Tom Cruise acts....cool?

Few people can actually poke fun at themselves, which is why it was such a shock that Tom Cruise not only laughed about David Letterman's Top 10 list about him, but he read the list himself. Check out Tom reading Letterman's Top 10 craziest things people say about Tom Cruise on the Internet.



P.S. Tommy needs to go back to school. You struggled with "heimliched?" Really?

Mischa Barton gets Kooky

Oh yeah, you guessed it -- play on words! Mischa Barton is rumored to be dating the frontman of the Kooks, Luke Pritchard.

Hey Luke, want some crackers with that cottage cheese (thighs)?

Liev Schreiber trying to get jacked

Brand new daddy dukes Liev Schreiber is hitting the gym like crazy and trying to get jacked and ripped in enough time to appear in the new installment of X-Men. He'll be alongside Ryan Reynolds and the Sexiest Man Alive (not according to me...I happen to like women, not that there's anything wrong with guys liking other guys) Hugh Jackman, so he better get his ass in gear.

Halle Berry shows some boobage

Well, it was no national TV wardrobe malfunction like Janet Jackson, but Halle Berry had a little mishap with her top and flashed her bodacious ta-tas on the set of a new movie she's filming. Apparently, while she was running in a skimpy outfit for a scene, her top crapped out and her boobies came out to play.

It's times like these that I wish I were a film director.

Bill Murray pulling in some young ass?

Bill Murray was seen out with Valkyrie star Carice van Houten the other day, and he was said to be "very cuddly" with her. Hmm...post-divorce older man all over a hot younger woman? Yup...I'll call it a "one-foot-in-the-grave crisis."

Hilary Duff admits she's not a virgin?

In the January issue of Maxim magazine, Hilary Duff blasts Elle magazine on misquoting her about her virginity.

You know what? I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that.

She also said she doesn't get why people even care about it, since "that's nobody's business but my own!" I can easily answer that question though. When you're hot, people want to know about your sex life. Happens to me all the time.

Adam Walsh murder solved

A 27-year-old child abduction case-turned-murder has finally been solved. Adam Walsh, the son of America's Most Wanted host John Walsh, was abducted and later decapitated back in 1981. The case launched the show that John hosted and also brought more focus on how to deal with child abduction cases. John was both emotional but relieved that police fingered Ottis Toole, who died over 10 years ago, as the killer.

Who could take a 6-year-old and murder and decapitate him? Who? We needed to know. We needed to know. And today we know. The not knowing has been a torture, but that journey's over.

I can only imagine what that's like and hope i never have to find out first-hand. Our thoughts go out to the Walsh family and we're glad they finally have some closure.

Michelle named the new Biggest Loser!

Biggest Loser contestant Michelle was named The Biggest Loser last night during a live finale. She lost the most weight of the final 3 contestants on The Biggest Loser Ranch with an 80-pound weight loss and lost 110 pounds overall. Congrats!! Check out her before and after pictures below, and I'm also throwing up the before and after pictures of Heba, who won the $100,000 second prize for being the contestant who lost the most weight out of the voted-off contestants, but I have nothing good to say because she was a bitch during the show.

Michelle before and after!!

Heba before and after.

Melanie Griffith looks nothing like this anymore...and MORE!!!

AAAAAA HAHAHAHA!!! Mike Tyson is a fat f**k!!! (smack)

Aboriginals pissed that Nicole Kidman blew their instrument. I can't make this stuff up. (candy)

Antonio Banderas not happy with Melanie Griffith's looks? (ayyyy)

Kim Kardashian's look gets classier? (POTP)

Fall Out Boy members almost get arrested for throwing free concert. (gabby)

Dennis Quaid reaches settlement with Cedars-Sinai for his twins being overdosed. (bitten)

TNA announces new one-hour TV show! (wrestling)

Jack Black guest starring on The Office

Jack Black will be guest starring on the post-Super Bowl episode of The Office, which will air on Sunday, February 1. Details on the episode and how Jack will be worked into it haven't been given out yet.

Amy Poehler says goodbye to SNL

After announcing she would be leaving SNL a few months ago as soon as she was named to be the star of the spin-off of The Office, Amy Poehler had her last show this past weekend and said her farewells during her final Weekend Update segment.

This is my last show. Being able to do over 140 shows with my friends and my family has been a dream come true. I love you and I will miss all of you very much.

I'm not gonna lie, I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in a while because it's just not funny anymore. And I think if they keep losing their top stars like they have over the last few years, they won't be on air too much longer.

Has Kate Hudson been misleading on how long she's been single?

I'm not saying that she was lying about being single in any way when I reported on her reaction to pregnancy rumors on Friday, but Kate Hudson made it sound like she's been single for a while, regardless of the men she's been linked to. But in a recent interview with In Style magazine with her friend and designer, Stella McCartney, it's mentioned she's only been single for 2 weeks.

Stella: You're a hot ticket! You've always been in demand.
Kate: I feel good in relationships ... but it's also the first time I've ever taken a step back and gotten a new perspective. So I've made a conscious decision to try to stay single as long as possible.
Stella: Yeah, babe, I know! What's it been -- all of two weeks? Congratulations!
Kate: Exactly. I'm just trying to be an adult on my own.

If anything, I suppose it's a message to everyone that even though you may think girls are crazy for always feeling the need to be in relationships, celebrities are just as nuts.

J-Lo starring in CBS Films movie

Jennifer Lopez is slated to star in one of CBS Films' first movies called Plan B. It's a romantic comedy about who tries to become knocked up through artificial insemination. Production should start in the spring.

Sounds right up her alley. She's a pro at romantic comedies, and we know she has no problem getting knocked up (seeing as how she looked like a frickin sumo wrestler when she was preggo with twins.)

"Dirty Thoughts" with Rihanna and Chris Brown

Chris Brown: "Damn, I love those boobies."

Rihanna: "Yeah that's right, you know where it's at."

Tom Cruise admits to douchebaggery

The last time Tom Cruise was on The Today Show 3 years ago, he called host Matt Lauer "glib" during their convo about Brooke Shields taking anti-depressants after her pregnancy. Tom was on the show yesterday and actually admitted that his comment to Matt was wrong right off the bat.

I thought in looking at myself, 'Man that came across as arrogant.' After looking at it, it's not what I had intended. That's one of those things that you go, 'I could have handled that better.' I didn't communicate it the way that I wanted to communicate it. That's not who I am... I learned a good lesson.

A Tom Cruise that's not bat sh*t crazy? Someone check on Hell -- it may be frozen.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie reach settlement

I have a wide-ass smile on my face right now because there's something about Madonna that I just cannot stand. So you can understand why I'm pumped that she has to pay her soon-to-be ex-husband Guy Ritchie a sweet $75 million as a part of their divorce settlement. They still haven't come to terms on a custody agreement for their 3 kids, but either way, Madonna just got owned and I love it.

TLC member facing foreclosure

And yet more stories about the crappy economy and mortgage crisis affecting the celebrities. T-Boz from the group TLC is facing foreclosure on her 5 bedroom, over 10,000 square foot home will be auctioned sometime off next month. Rumor has it she owes $530,000 on it, which is why the state took it.

Whammy.

Mrs. Huxtable new face of Jenny Craig

Phylicia Rashad, who's best known for her role as Claire Huxtable in The Cosby Show, has signed on to be the next spokeswoman for Jenny Craig. She'll take the reins from Queen Latifah at the beginning of 2009.

Good luck, Mrs. Huxtable!!

France's first lady gets naked again

France's first lady Carla Bruni posed naked back in 1993, and it's coming back to haunt her now. A designer has decided to make a handbag with a naked image of Carla embroidered right onto it. She hit the designer with a lawsuit.

Question. Who exactly would buy a handbag with a picture of a naked lady on it, anyway?

Peter Falk has Alzheimer's

Hollywood legend Peter Falk, who made his name playing Lt. Columbo in the Columbo TV series back in the 70s has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and dementia. His most recent work that's well-known was lending his voice to the movie Shark Tale back in 2004. His daughter is getting worried that people are going to start taking advantage of him and filed papers to L.A. County court asking for someone to take care of him full-time.

Poor fella. I've seen Alzheimer's first-hand, and it's not a pretty sight. Good luck to Peter and his family during this whole ordeal.

Billy Bob Thornton opens up about almost dying

This stayed on the DL (that's down-low for all of you not-skilled people) for a while, but Billy Bob Thornton is opening up about the time he almost died back in the 80's.

I knew people out here (in Hollywood), but I was too embarrassed to tell them I was broke. You know when you're trying to be an actor and you want to appear that you're doing OK? So I went for about two solid weeks without eating anything. I drank water, but when you drink too much water and you're not eating, it strips all the minerals that you need and nearly killed me ... It was the same thing that happens to an anorexic – you lose all your potassium and your electrolytes get all screwed up. It caused my heart to seize up on me, and I had no insurance, so they put me in L.A. County Hospital. I had gone to Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital, but they kicked me out because I didn't have any money. So they sent me down to County where they put the street people.

Who knew that years later, he'd be walking red carpets talking about how he just banged Angelina Jolie in the back of their limo. Lucky S.O.B.

Sharon Osbourne rocks Charm School contestant Megan's world..and MORE!!!

Sharon Osbourne beats the piss out of Rock of Love 2 alum!! (smack)

Michael Jackson is a mix between Zorro, an Arab, and former wrestler The Repo Man. (candy)

Watch Kanye bomb his SNL performance. (POTP)

Hey George Bush! Look! It's a bird...it's a plane...it's a pair of shoes!! (gabby)

X Factor contestants: BE NICE TO SIMON!! (bitten)

The Hardy Boyz are World Champions!! (wrestling)

Madonna spending Christmas with Guy Ritchie

Madonna is flying to London with her children so they can see their father on Christmas. Guy Ritchie hasn't seen his kids in weeks, and surprisingly Madonna put down her "Wall of Douchiness" to let her soon-to-be ex see them.

Just call it the Kabbalah Christmas Spirit.

Cameron Diaz not hitting Broadway for Shrek

Even though Shrek is turning into a musical and hitting Broadway, Cameron Diaz said there's not a good chance of fans seeing her on stage in the role of Fiona, who she voices in the theater versions.

No. Absolutely not. What they do up there ... is, to me, impossible. It's wonderful, though. They've done such a great job. They worked really hard, and it really pays off.

That kinda sucks. It'd be cool to see her bring Fiona to life, considering she's voiced her for 4 movies, but oh well.

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber parents for the second time

Sending a Dirty congratulations over to Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, who welcomed their second child into the world over the weekend. The newborn son's name wasn't given out yet, but he joins his older brother, Alexander Pete.

Congrats and good luck!!