Couple marries and divorces in same day

This isn't celebrity news, but it's hilarious. Apparently some German couple got married in Berlin on Saturday, right? Well pretty much right after they said "I do" they ended up getting in a HUGE fight. The fight escalated so quickly that the groom chased the bride around the place with the cake-cutting knife!! So the lady got away, called the cops and requested a restraining order, and the guy ended up sleeping in a homeless shelter for the night.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

P.S. Sorry to whoever's wedding picture I defamed.

103-year-old throws out first pitch

Baseball's oldest living player, 103-year-old Emilio Navarro, threw out the first pitch for the Oakland Athletics/San Diego Padres game on Saturday. He said he felt like he was in heaven.

Yeah, not really celeb news, but I thought it was a neat little story.

Not celebrity news, but funny as hell

Some chick in Florida locked herself in her car. No, seriously. She called 911 and said she locked herself in her car, nothing electrical worked, she couldn't roll down the windows or anything, and it was getting hot and she was starting not to feel well. The 911 operator told her to pull the lock up manually. Halfway through telling the operator that it didn't work, she pulled the lock up and got out of the car. Check out the full story, including audio of the 911 call, right here.

Some things just speak for themselves, so I'm not even gonna say a word.

Suri Cruise is in a glass case of emotion...and MORE!!!

Jack Osbourne must be the happiest guy in the world. Natalie Portman is single! (smack)

What every married couple should hope NOT to turn out like: Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife. (candy)

I'm pretty sure Parker Posey killed a stuffed animal to make a purse. (ayyyy)

The true answers to all the Girls Next Door drama! (POTP)

You know the kids at school who walk around with crazy facepaint, dark leather trenchcoats, and don't hang out with anyone? Yeah, that'll be Suri Cruise. (gabby)

Not really celebrity news, but...how do you cure Multiple Sclerosis? NAKED CLOWNS! (bitten)

Stone Cold Steve Austin to wrestle one last match at Wrestlemania 25?! (wrestling)