Elisabeth Hasselbeck and other A-listers to make cameos on TV shows during May Sweeps

With a week left before we barrel-ass into the month of May, it's time to gear up for May sweeps, when we'll get non-stop new episodes of our favorite shows until they all climax (hehe, I said climax) into season finales. During this time, you'll see some popular guest stars popping up all over the boob tube (hehe, I said boob) -- here's a breakdown of who's going on what show!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar: Two of the ladies from The View will guest star on Ugly Betty's season finale as hosts of The View. Who woulda thought?!

Salma Hayek: She'll be making her return to 30 Rock, and I'm pretty sure I've seen in promos that she kisses Tina Fey. Fellas, set those DVRs!

Tom Sizemore: Tom will be guesting on the new hit Southland as a famous star. I know, not that interesting.

Jeremy Kent: The kid who played Elliot on E.T. will be guesting on the original CSI as Catherine's first-ever convicted killer who finds fault with her case 20 years later. I actually think this episode aired last night, but there may be continued storylines with it. (I watched Grey's last night, sorry folks.)

Michelle Trachtenberg: The former Harriet the Spy star is making a return cameo on Gossip Girl as Georgina Sparks, the chick who got shipped off to boot camp after Season 1. Who the hell names their kid Georgina?

Hilary Duff: She'll star as a young and irresponsible mother on Law & Order: SVU. I've also recently noticed that she's 20 times hotter than her sister.

Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J: The two fellas will be starring on NCIS as the roles they'll play in the spin-off of NCIS at the beginning of next season. CBS decided to get a jump-start with a two-part backdoor pilot.

Okay, so I didn't realize there were so many...if you wanna check out the rest of the list (including a boatload of peeps that are lending their voices for Family Guy over the next few weeks), just head here.

Chace Crawford moves on... quickly.

"Gossip Girl" guy Chace Crawford dumped his ex, Carrie Underwood, via text message. And now, according to Page 6, he's already moved on and is getting it on with the show's new star, Michelle Trachtenberg.

The two were reportedly "all over each other" Saturday night at Upstairs in SoHo.

Um... is it a surprise??? I think if you a break up with a girl in a text message, it was over long ago. Plus Carrie Underwood is as smart as a box of Q-Tips.

Make that "a very attractive box of Q-Tips."

Michelle Trachtenberg will be on Gossip Girl

Mischa Barton was rumored to have been offered a role on the WB's breakout hit "Gossip Girl" but turned it down in a "been there, done that" sort of moment.

Enter Michelle Trachtenberg.

Even though her name is a pain in the donkey punch to type, I'd still date her if things ever go sour with Sophia Bush.

'The Track' will star as Georgina Sparks, a character in the novels the show is based around... and she'll look smoking while doing it.

Look for her on "Gossip Girl" during the May sweeps. I will.

Meanwhile Mischa Barton keeps getting DUI's and will be going topless in an upcoming film to try to make the leap to "serious actress." Hello Tara Reid 2.0.

Good move, girlfriend dos.

I'd look sad too, even if I had boobs.