Dirty Quotes with Jon Gosselin

"I'm not a playa, I just crush a lot. And I'm crushing a sh*tload right now."

Jon Gosselin injured

Jon Gosselin was injured at his Pennsylvania home and needed stitches after he slammed his head into an open cabinet while he was in the dark.

Guarantee you that bitch Kate Gosselin snuck in the house, had on night-sight goggles, and opened that sh*t right on his head. She's that nuts, ya know.

Jon Gosselin new job

For the record, I called this from MILES away. Legit I called this when Jon and Kate were first splitting up -- Jon hates doing reality TV and would love to just be able to have a normal 9-to-5 job, but he's stuck filming and doing promotional jobs. It pasy off though -- he rakes in about $75,000 an episode, but it's definitely not making him happy.

I wish I had a 9 to 5 job instead of the nightmare I'm living. This is 24/7. I don't even want to do taping for the show anymore, [but] I have two houses and eight children to take care of and I need to work.

I feel so bad for the dude...he marries a total attention whore who's nothing but a bitch to him, now they have 8 kids together and he obviously needs a ridiculous amount of money to care for them all, and in the process he can't even lead a private life now. All because Kate forced him to stay with the show back in the day, and now he has no choice. What a megabitch.

Jon Gosselin Divorced Dad's Club

There were rumors yesterday that Jon Gosselin had signed onto a second reality show called Divorced Dad's Club, but a rep from the production company killed the rumor last night and said it's not true.

No, we are not in talks with him as he is under contract with TLC. But, our show is currently in development although casting is not finalized yet.

They DID confirm that Jon's people got in touch with him though...which makes me wonder if Jon even knew about it in the first place. And if he did, well, his Hawaiian ass is just as much of a f*cking attention whore as his annoying ass wife. (By the way, is Jon even Hawaiian? I don't even know where I came up with that haha)

Robert Pattinson is NOT dead...and MORE!!

Robert Pattinson is alive. (amygrindhouse)

When I see Madonna's face it gives me hell. (smack)

Katy Perry prayed for bigger boobs. (bedhead)

It looks like Holly Madison is wearing a bunch of trees in a scary movie. No seriously...I swear I saw that scene in Pet Sematary. (ayyyy)

Kourtney Kardashian abortion?! Almost. (POTP)

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush back together? (gabby)

Jon Gosselin's new reality TV show. (bitten)

Hint that Jeff Hardy is leaving WWE? (wrestling)

Jon Gosselin Hailey Glassman love

Hailey Glassman is still getting sh*t for dating Jon Gosselin and is being called a homewrecker and the reason for their breakup, but Hailey's setting the record straight to E!Online.

Jon and Kate have moved on with their lives. It's only the viewers who haven't moved on. I'm not some fame whore. I want people to know the truth. Right now I'm speaking from my heart, myself. I'm not some celebrity, I'm not some famous person – I'm just a 22-year-old girl who got caught in the middle of all this. He was living in my house, the person I joked around with. He was sad and bored, I was home and bored. [He's my] first love.

I've had just about enough of Jon, Kate, Kate v2.0, Hailey, and Kate's annoying haircut. I'm gonna shave that bitch's head bald and give her the attention she's looking for.

We can see the bun in Gisele's oven...and MORE!!

Gisele's baby bump! (amygrindhouse)

Holy crap! My future wife Gina Carano hitting up Playboy?! (VBT)

John Edwards has a bastard child. (examiner)

Britney Spears is a f*cking bitch. (smack)

Pop Miley's cherry! No, seriously. I'm not even kidding. It's kinda creepy actually. (bedhead)

Kanye's ex gets naked. (POTP)

Jon Gosselin + Vegas = Pool Party! (gabby)

More deets on Rick Pitino affair. (bitten)

The Hardy Boyz Tour? (wrestling)

Jon Gosselin Kate Gosselin cops

The cops were called to Jon and Kate Gosselin's house last night after Kate showed up "unexpectedly." Thursday nights are Jon's nights to be with the kids at the house, so it's not really known why Kate showed up. Obviously when she got there, a huge argument broke up and someone called the police, but it's not known who. They came, no one was arrested, and Kate stayed in a hotel for the night.

Just more attention whore bullsh*t from Kate, trying to stir stuff up and make Jon look like an assh*le. Broad, it was Jon's night at the house, NOT yours, so stay the f*ck away. Better yet, just go away. Nobody likes you.

Kate Major trashes Jon Gosselin

Kate Major was interviewed by E! News yesterday and did a little trash talking to Jon Gosselin, telling him to "man up and tell the truth" about their quick relationship together. Check out highlights of the interview below.

Jon's Intentions: "We had plans to travel together, to live together, and to be together. He made his decision in the Hamptons. He wanted to be with me ... He told me he was going to Massachusetts to break up with [Glassman]. I know the truth. He knows the truth. Unfortunately, she did not."

On Glassman: "He tried to two-time both of us. He wasn't honest with Hailey he needs to man up and tell the truth. I'm not going to be the other woman."

Back With Hailey: "In no way did he tell me he was going to go parade with his ex-girlfriend."

Why She Quit Her Job: "I was with the person I was reporting on ... it was a huge conflict of interest. He's the one who actually told me to quit my job."

Jon Gosselin Hailey Glassman

Jon Gosselin and his main squeeze Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out over the weekend at the Lexington Bar and Grill until the wee-hours of the morning. Check out a couple pics below.

Kate Major talks Jon Gosselin

About a month or so ago, Kate Major was supposed to interview Jon Gosselin for an article in Star magazine. She went out for the assignment, and instead of getting the article, she ended up getting a crush on Jon. She said they had an instant connection and hit it off right away when Jon invited her out to dinner in Manhattan. With the paparazzi and press swarming all over them, she said they decided to get away to Michael Lohan's home in the Hamptons. But right around then after just a couple weeks, Jon gave Kate v2.0 the boot, which is why she pretty much regrets the whole thing.

I wake up some days and I think, 'What was I thinking?' He's a great, great guy. I wish I could think of something wrong with the guy, but there really isn't. He expressed to me how difficult it's been for him with media constantly surrounding him, and after spending a week with him straight I can pretty much see how different it is. Its been really hard. I've pretty much had to go in hiding.

I'm just gonna say it -- I think this lady is kinda full of sh*t. I don't think they had some whirlwind romance. Not with the way Jon talked about Hailey in his In Touch magazine interview last week. Something's fishy.

Joan Rivers trashes celebs

Joan Rivers is getting in the spirit for her Comedy Central Roast (airs Aug 9) a little early by trashing a few celebrities for pretty much random reasons. Check out what she had to say about Jon Gosselin, Brooke Shields, and Jay Leno below.

On Jon Gosselin: "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' -- well, he should have found himself a condom."

On Brooke Shields: "I'd love to roast Brooke Shields. Michael's dearest friend. She hasn't seen him since 1993! ... It's called face time." (Referring to Brooke's eulogy at Michael Jackson's memorial service.)

On Jay Leno: "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m. because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier ... It will be nice for the Midwest because their crops will be greener."

Hahahaha I love this old crazy broad.

Jon Gosselin talks split with Kate

Jon Gosselin wants to set the record straight about what went down between he and Kate Gosselin to cause their split, and that although it seemed like he started dating other women and eventually settling with Hailey Glassman pretty quickly after the split, it didn't go down as fast as it seemed. He appears in (and covers) the new issue of In Touch magazine.

People think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by September 30. Kate basically came to me out of the blue and said, 'I am done. You are going to live your life, and I am going to live my life.' I was like, 'What?' I didn't really know what was going on. When she said that, I was really upset and nervous. [I'm convinced Kate wanted to split] because she wanted a career. Maybe I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, and she was going to move on regardless I was beating myself up about it, and asked Kate 'What do I have to do to mend the relationship? What did I do wrong?' She said, 'If you have a problem, go fix it.'

Jon also talked about how controlling and belitting that Kate was to him, and how different it is with Hailey right now.

She is the polar opposite of Kate. It's really different. I feel good about myself and people see my good qualities. I'm not being put down. Sometimes I ask Hailey permission [to hang out with friends], like I used to do with Kate, and she says, 'You don't have to ask permission.' I was used to living like that, and now it's like a breath of fresh air. You can have a balanced relationship but also spend time with your friends.

I'm totally on Team Jon. Kate's the biggest attention whore bitch that I've ever heard about, and it wouldn't surprise me if she tried pulling some BS stuff in court to make Jon look like an assh*le. I hope a bird flies by and sh*ts right in her eye.

Kate Major quits job

We just got word that tabloid reporter Kate Major quither job at Star magazine yesterday, saying that there's a conflict of interest between her reporting duties and her relationship with Jon Gosselin. The official statement is up on Star's website, and Kate is sticking to her guns in saying that she "went to do a story on Jon, and I ended up falling in love." The interesting thing is that Radar Online is reporting that Jon is denying absolutely any romantic relationship with Kate #2, and is apparently pissed off that she's "f*cking me over like this."

Damn man...Jon is pulling in some MAJOR ass. The dude marries a total bitch and knocks her up with 8 babies, gets treated like crap and then gets dumped by her, and now he has hot broads saying that they're in love with him and it may not even be true?! Dude is a LEGEND!

Jon Gosselin chills with Michael Lohan

Out of the files of "Where the f*ck did this come from?" -- Jon Gosselin was seen hanging out in the Hamptons with Michael Lohan. On top of that, Jon arrived in the Hamptons with a girl NOT named Hailey Glassman...but a girl named Kate! But not Kate Gosselin -- Star magazine writer Kate Major! They were seen grabbing a bite to eat in NYC over the weekend, too, and there's conflicting reports about them. Some sources are saying that they're dating, even quoting Kate #2 with saying, "He dumped Hailey for me!" - but others are saying it's just a business relationship.

We'll see what happens, but how awesome would it be if Jon and Kate Major actually hooked up. Hello, Jon Plus 8 with a New Kate!

Hailey Glassman talks dating Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman have been dating for a few weeks now -- ever since Kate filed for divorce after booting Jon out of the house. Now for the first time since they started dating, Hailey is speaking out about dating Jon and how her family is reacting to the whole situation.

We're always laughing and joking. We watch movies, play pool and ping pong. We laugh a lot because I beat him at everything. He's a great cook. He cooks roasted veggies with special seasoning and sauces, and he grills pineapple with a butter concoction. [My parents] love him. They think of him as part of the family. They think things happen for a reason. The most important thing is if someone fits in with my family ... This is perfect. It just fits. I'm a huge believer in not controlling someone. I'll give my opinion but tell him to do what he wants to do. He said, 'I'm just not used to having an option.' I told him life is about options.

Good for Jon. Seriously, the dude put up with one crazy ass bitchy broad who eventually made everything all about her once the show started taking off -- it's about time he finally gets his testicles back from Kate. She's legit gonna be single for the rest of her life since everyone's seen what a total bitch she is...all guys are gonna want from her is a notch in their belt.

Jon Gosselin Hailey Glassman update

Everyone (and by everyone, I mean angry pissed off women) has been giving Jon Gosselin sh*t for being seen out with his new girlfriend Hailey Glassman just weeks after his wife Kate filed for divorce. They're blaming him for the divorce in the first place, saying that he was stepping out on Kate with Hailey during their marriage. Well you angry old broads, it turns out you're dead wrong. Jon and Hailey didn't get together until after Kate told Jon that she was filing for divorce. Kate kicked Jon out of the house during the weekend of May 4th, so Jon went and stayed with Hailey's father (the doctor who performed Kate's tummy tuck.) But the relationship between Jon and Hailey didn't start until after Kate filed the papers on June 20.

Jon's even getting sh*t for starting to date Hailey so soon after Kate filed the papers, but really -- if you lived with someone that treated you like sh*t for so long and walked all over you, then they gave you an out, wouldn't you want to go and spend time with someone that doesn't make you feel like a stepped-in piece of dog sh*t?

Russell Brand says no to LiLo's vajayjay...and MORE!!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE BLOGGER'S CHOICE AWARDS OR I'LL HAVE RACHAEL RAY SING RIGHT INTO YOUR EARDRUM.








Victoria Beckham in Sex and the City sequel. (amygrindhouse)

Heather Nichols dry humped by Quinton "Rampage" Jackson! (VBT)

Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman match.com spoofs! (examiner)

Madonna wants to show you what a 50-year-old cooter looks like. (smack)

Russell Brand rejects Lindsay Lohan! (bedhead)

You could have a picnic on Rosamund Pike's pants. (ayyyy)

Joel Madden cheating on Nicole Richie? (POTP)

Jolie-Pitt twins turn 1! (gabby)

LaToya Jackson thinks MJ was murdered. (bitten)

Vince McMahon has officially lost it: Seth Green hosting RAW tonight. F*ck you, Vince. (wrestling)

Jon Gosselin in Paris with girlfriend

I reported this in the Week in Dirt on Friday, but here's an actual pic of Jon Gosselin out with his 22-year-old girlfriend Hailey Glassman. They were in Paris together trying to land a fashion deal for Hailey. And like I said in the Week in Dirt vid, Hailey is the daughter of the Doctor that performed Kate's tummy tuck.

STILL f*cking awesome.

Jon and Kate Gosselin picnic

Props to Jon and Kate Gosselin for putting their differences aside and enjoying the Fourth of July holiday together with their kids. They held a little picnic that included volleyball and sparklers.

Kate looks pissed that the spotlight isn't on her in the pic, but at least she set her ego aside for her kids for once. Attention whore bitch.