George Michael arrested

George Michael was arrested Friday afternoon across the pond for driving under the influence after he got in an accident with some chick in a truck and seemed totally out of it. The lady who was in the truck that George smashed into, Laurie Rowe, gave the deets on what George was acting after the crash.

[He] seemed completely disorientated, like he had no idea what was going on. He looked totally dazed and even tried to climb into the cab of my [truck]. He kept saying he was worried he would go to jail.

Police released him 5 hours later and didn't charge him. Which boggles my f*cking mind, because if you're climbing into the back of a truck that you just smashed into and you seem that out of it, you're obviously on something. Must be nice to be famous.

Joyce DeWitt DUI

Three's Company star Joyce DeWitt was arrested on the Fourth of July for Driving Under the Influence in El Segundo, California. She was approached by cops after driving through a police barricade, and totally bombed the field sobriety tests. She posted the $5,000 bail.

Can you believe she's 60 years old?! She looks pretty good. AND she likes to booze. Now that's a MILF, baby.

Donte Stallworth suspended from NFL

Anyone who thought that the courts went easy on Donte Stallworth for only giving him 30 days in jail followed by 2 years of house arrest and 8 years of probation for driving plastered and killing a man should give NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a high-five right now. Roger suspended Donte indefinitely from the NFL for making such a stupid decision, and hasn't given Donte a date when he'll be eligible to play again. This is the statement Roger sent to Donte.

The conduct reflected in your guilty plea resulted in the tragic loss of life and was inexcusable. While the criminal justice system has determined the legal consequences of this incident, it is my responsibility as NFL Commissioner to determine appropriate league discipline for your actions, which have caused irreparable harm to the victim and his family, your club, your fellow players and the NFL.

Dude...HELL YEAH, ROGER! D*ckbag drives drunk and kills a man and only gets 30 days in jail? Like I said, high-five to Roger for stepping up where the courts wouldn't.

Donte Stallworth sentenced to 30 days in jail

New England Patriots' receiver Donte Stallworth was sentenced to 30 days in jail yesterday for killing a man in Florida back in 2005 while he was driving drunk. Donte was actually facing 15 years in prison, but only ended up being sentenced to 30, and two years of house arrest with a lifetime suspension of his license after his jail sentence is up. He'll still be able to play football while he's under house arrest.

I accept full responsibility for this horrible tragedy. I will bear this burden for the rest of my life.

I'm a huge Pats fan, but what the f*ck?! This dude gets wasted and kills a guy, and only gets 30 days in jail, then just some bullsh*t after like 8 years of probation, 2 years of house arrest where he can still play football, and a lifetime license suspension when he's rich enough to hire a driver anyway? Must be nice to be rich and famous, because if you or I did that, we'd be f*cked.

Singer Eric Carmen gets jail time

Singer Eric Carmen, most famous for 80's hits Hungry Eyes and All By Myself, hasn't had a hit in 2 decades aside from smashing his car into a fire hydrant back in September. Eric was beyond sh*tfaced, blowing a .23 when Ohio police gave him a breathalyzer, and also handing them a credit card instead of his license when they asked for it. Eric was in court yesterday for the arrest, and was sentenced to 30 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

FYI, I just pictured Eric singing his cellmates to sleep and just legit laughed out loud.

No babies for Katy Perry...and MORE!!!

NBA star Zach Randolph nailed for DUI. (videoblogging)

Eminem makes fun of Kim Kardashian in his latest video, and she likes it! (smack)

Octomom is getting a reality show. F*ck our lives. (bedhead)

A-List awards = Toga party! (ayyyy)

Katy Perry loves the No Baby Candy. (POTP)

Amy Winehouse shows St. Lucia her ta-ta's. (gabby)

Michael Lohan clears his schedule for his broken-hearted daughter. (bitten)

Todd Grisham replaces Tazz on the Smackdown! announce team? (wrestling)

Joba Chamberlain DUI video

For those of you who aren't avid sports fans, Joba Chamberlain is a pitcher for the New York Yankees who was arrested back in October for Driving Under the Influence. Being from Boston, I seriously felt the need to post this video of Joba being pulled over then giving field sobriety tests. The trooper who pulled him over seems really cool, and Joba was pretty lucky that he wasn't a total douche. You can check out the 4 1/2 minute video here.

Feel free to bask in this, Red Sox Nation!

Lindsay Lohan sued for wild chase

Lindsay Lohan is being sued by three people she was at a party with last July for initiating a high speed chase. Apparently, the three fellas left the party, followed by one of the guy's girlfriends and Lindsay's assistant. Lindsay followed them out of the party, screaming at the girlfriend along the way. The girlfriend got in her car and started to drive away.

That's when the guys say that Lindsay jumped into the open driver's seat of their car and started chasing the girlfriend. They tried to stop her and even tried to grab the wheel and control it over her, but she threatened to sue them. Hours later, Lindsay was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving and cocaine possession.

The guys are looking for $25,000 for Lindsay putting their lives in harm's way, depriving them of their personal liberty, and going beyond reasonable bounds of decency or civilized conduct. Man, that girl used to be bat sh*t crazy, huh?!

Heather Locklear arrested for DUI

Heather Locklear was booked on DUI charges Saturday night after she dealt with police on two separate occasions. She was pulled over the first time for erratic driving, but let go. Then a little later on, a cop noticed a car parked on the highway, blocking a lane. It was Heather. He figured she was messed up on something, so he arrested her.

This is the creepiest mugshot EVER. Look how big her frickin' eyes are!!

Speaking of celebrity DUIs...

Another young actor was nailed with a DUI charge and arrested by police. Scott Michael Foster (who plays Cappie in Greek) was pulled over for a routine traffic stop, then nailed for being drunk after failing the field sobriety tests. He was released on $5,000 bail and made it to the Greek set the next morning, telling the cast and crew he was sorry and glad nothing worse happened.

What a dumbass.

Shia LaBeouf gets a DUI

Maybe he thought he could get drunk and his car would drive itself home? Too bad this is real life and not Transformers.

Shia was driving around early yesterday morning when his truck hit another car and rolled over twice. Shia, his lady friend in the passenger seat, and the driver of the other car all only had minor injuries. Shia's rap sheet is a different story, though.

Shia was charged with a DUI after the crash, and later released and given an August court date.

I guess his days as Louis Stevens on the Disney Channel are definitely over.

Richie Sambora busted for DUI... and 10 year old daughter was in the car!!!

Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora was arrested last night at 10:52pm last night in Laguna Beach, CA for driving drunk.

At this point you can forgive him. DUI's - though awful - happen all the time, especially with the semi-famous.

BUT -- he had his 10 year-old daughter Ava in the car with him!!! I'm sorry but that is crap! And that's all I have to say about that.

He was released at 4am this morning and will be arraigned on May 7th.

Douchebag.

The Daily Dirt -- Paris' New Show/Best Friend

The paps snap Mischa Barton leaving jail. Fug.

Ooph. She looked much hotter in her mugshot.
Guess she looks better drunk.

Or maybe I was still drunk when I saw her mugshot.

I need a beer.

Mischa Barton busted for DUI - here's the mugshot!

The former “O.C.” star was pulled over early this morning around 2:45 AM as she was driving in West Hollywood, Calif. Cops say she “was seen straddling two lanes of traffic and failed to signal when making a turn.”
When deputies pulled her over, they determined that she “was an unlicensed driver and was driving while under the influence of an alcoholic beverage.”Barton is still in custody, being held on $10,000 bail. The L.A. County Sheriffs’ Inmate Information website called her “Mischa Burton.” Sources tell us that Mischa has been “very cooperative” and “no trouble at all.”

They also found narcotics of some sort on her.
I personally think that Mooshy Fartin' looks better in her mugshot than in most of the papshots nowadays!
And notice it says "while under the influence of an alcoholic beverage." When you weigh 26 pounds, one alcoholic beverage will muss you up!