Kevin Federline weight loss

Everyone's been giving Kevin Federline crap for becoming a total fat f*ck over the last few months, but becoming a tank might have been the best thing K-Fed's done since railing (then marrying) Britney. Kevin is in talks with EP-2 (Extreme Physical Performance) to endorse a weight loss product that will pay him $2.5 million when it's all said and done. He hasn't officially accepted the deal yet, but there's a good chance he will. Producers for his new reality show are demanding that he lose 45 pounds, and he's already dieting and working out anyway, so it'll pretty much be a bonus payday for him if he takes the deal.

But he's an idiotard, so we all know he probably won't.

Kevin Federline reality show

Kevin Federline is in talks with VH1 about doing a reality show that follows his fat ass, his hot girlfriend who is too good-looking to be with him, Victoria Prince, and his two sons Sean Preston and Jayden James. Apparently Victoria is going to be a major part of the show too. She's not engaged to K-Fed yet (I heard he gave her an onion ring when he proposed, then he ate the thing because he couldn't go 10 minutes without food in his system), but apparently she lives with him full-time.

So what do you think it should be called? Chaotic v2.0? How about No One Gives a F*ck?

New Celebrity Dirt -- K-Fed is fat, Nick & Vanessa, Jon & Kate, and a cancelled wedding...

Britney's trying to get K-Fed back!

Say it ain't so, Brit! That's right friends...our worst fears have come true. Britney wants K-Fed back. I reported yesterday that Britney was hooking up with one of her dancers, and making it pretty public, too -- making out in elevators, kissing him while she's on his lap, going into public bathrooms for 9 minutes (hello, quickie) -- but it's all a show. Britney isn't crushing on her dancer, she's trying to make Kevin Federline jealous so that he dumps his current girl Victoria Prince, and they can get their family back together.

Get ready for Britney Breakdown v2.0, friends!

Mary Kate Olsen gets her vampire on...and MORE!!!

Erin Go Bragh! Now crack a Guinness and take a celeb poll!! (celeb news)

Jenna Jameson gives birth to twins! Doctors said they've never seen 2 babies slide out so easy. (smack)

Candy Kirby says goodbye to celeb blogging. BUT...follow her on The Laughing Stork! (candy)

Here's a gift for the ADD fans -- a sparkly dress with pockets! (ayyyy)

Is Mary Kate Olsen trying to land a role in the Twilight series? (POTP)

Get ready for Meltdown Britney v2.0! (gabby)

Taylor Swift rocks her "girl next door" look on a couple mag covers. (bitten)

Painkillers and steroids found in Andrew "Test" Martin's home. (wrestling)

Britney's tour WILL go on!

We reported yesterday (in the link list I believe) that Britney Spears' tour was in danger of being cancelled because of Kevin Federline. Fear not, Britter's Critters -- the show WILL go on! The whole issue surrounded Brit and Kev's kids Sean Preston and Jayden James. Kev didn't want the kids to go with Britney on tour at all, which triggered Brit to threaten to cancel the tour if they couldn't come. But the 2 kids will travel with her for the entire length of the tour, so all is well!!

Good thing, too. There would've been A LOT of pissed off people if she cancelled it.

Eddie Murphy is a deadbeat mother trucker...and MORE!!!

Your Mom loves taking polls. (celeb news)

Christian Bale is a seriously a total douchebag. (smack)

Britney's cancelling her World Tour because of K-Fed?! (candy)

Nicole Richie not eating again? (ayyyy)

It'd do the world good if Eddie Murphy got hit by a bus. (POTP)

I want to like Diddy after seeing Notorious this past weekend, but he's a huge Diva. (gabby)

Don't expect a new Girls Gone Wild tape anytime soon...Joe Francis is in jail again. (bitten)

Kelly Kelly getting nekkid?!?! (wrestling)

Dakota the Diva to appear in New Moon...and MORE!!!

Here...go take polls if you haven't yet. Because we know you have nothing better to do. (celeb news)

Mischa Barton could be the poster child for starving children. (smack)

Bijou Phillips should probably never be a psychiatrist. (candy)

Fatty McFederline will NOT be on Dancing with the Stars. (POTP)

Mickey Rourke stepping into the ring at Wrestlemania 25!! FTW!!! (gabby)

Dakota Fanning on tap for Twilight sequel. (bitten)

Legends match happening at Wrestlemania 25?! (wrestling)

Kelly Osbourne's been sniffing the cotton candy again...and MORE!!!

Emma Watson shows her fans the love! (celeb news)

Diane Sawyer hits the sauce before GMA? (smack)

Pete Wentz rocks some Uggs, and therefore will get punched in the face by yours truly. (candy)

Rihanna's got some talent...times 2! (ayyyy)

K-Fed's gonna 2-step. (POTP)

Apparently, Sarah Jessica Parker likes to be cheated on. (gabby)

Kelly Osbourne hits up rehab. Again. (bitten)

Who's next to join The Legacy?! (wrestling)

There's no "desk" in Kelly Kapowski's "classroom"...and MORE!!!

First Obama is elected President, now he's Man of the Year. (smack)

Chyna may have lost her looks and her mind, but she hasn't lost her big ass boobs. (candy)

Ryan Phillippe travels back to the 90's with the "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the face don't understand!" move. (ayyyy)

Saved by the Bell alum NOT knocked up. (POTP)

Jessica Alba joining Jack Black on the post-Super Bowl episode of The Office! (gabby)

This girl looks WAY too nice to be dating K-Fed. (bitten)

Jim Carrey speaks depression. (yuddy)

Tomko in danger of getting released by WWE? (wrestling)

K-Fed should breast feed...and MORE!!!

Rachel Zoe is the new model for the skeleton in your Science class. (smack)

The Hilton sisters show Paris' new BFF how to suck off a Grey Goose bottle. (candy)

Got nose plugs? Because I think Hilary Duff just farted. (ayyyy)

K-Fed's fat!! (POTP)

David Beckham and his bodyguard lay a hurtin' on a photog. (gabby)

See how good airbrushing makes Jessica Alba look. (bitten)

Brad worried about Angelina's health? (yuddy)

Suicide's identity revealed!! (wrestling)

Speidi's marriage is faker than Heidi's boobs...and MORE!!!

You heard it from me first, and here's the confirmation: Mary-Kate Olsen is NOT preggers. (smack)

Beyonce really needs to learn how to use a razor. (candy)

Scarlett Johansson smiles like she ate some bad cheese. (ayyyy)

Jessica Alba's hot ass new Campari Calendar pics. They make me wanna run a few miles to get in shape. (POTP)

Heidi and Spencer prove just how fake they are. (gabby)

K-Fed gets a 16th minute of fame in People magazine. (bitten)

Victoria Beckham hates the limelight? Yeah...bullsh*t. (yuddy)

Hurricane Helms returns to the ring!! (wrestling)

Lynne Spears wants Brit and K-Fed back together

Ya know, just when Britney Spears' life is back on track and she's got her shiznit together, her mother has to try and butt in. Lynne's been pretty outspoken in saying that Brit and Kevin Federline should work things out and stay together for the kids.

Maybe she forgets what happened to her the last time she was with K-Fed. Here's a reminder for Ms. Lynne:

Michael Lohan wants to fight K-Fed

Michael Lohan told OK! Magazine that he wants to step in the ring with Kevin Federline and have a boxing match for charity. He says that both are notorious celebrity dads and "everyone wants me to fight K-Fed."

I think the former Mr. Britney Spears actually has something to say about this.

BREAKING NEWS: Britney Spears gives sole custody to Kevin Federline!

WTF?! Why did Britney give sole custody of her 2 kids to Kevin Federline?! She was doing so well!! We'll keep you updated when we get more details.

Britney and Kev doing the dirty dirty?!

Kevin Federline's attorney, Mark Kaplan, was on the Today Show this morning to discuss the whole Britney-Kevin-Kids ordeal, but he may not have told the whole story. He said that Brit and Kev have been getting along better, and obviously when you're raising children together, there has to be some type of teamwork.

Oh, there's some teamwork going on alright...of the naughty kind!

While they initially chatted about their boys, Preston and Jayden, the conversation shifted. And as Britney hoped, Kevin knew exactly how to tire her out — with hours of erotic talk! They have phone sex often — at least once a week. The one thing those two have in common is their need for sex, and after they get going, there are no holds barred.

I can hear it now...

Britney: Jayden's been doing well with feeding, y'all. He's sucking my boobie good.
Kevin: Yo, yo, yo, K-Fed wants to be like Jayden on your boobies!
Britney: Oh y'all, you're so sweet! Tell me more, y'all!

Dita Von Teese Lesbian Sex Tape! (and more)

PICTURE: Pop star looks like she was dressed by Edward Scissorhands! (ayyyy)

Oprah rubs "foreskin cream" on her face to stay young??? (circus)

PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF: Katie Holmes is becoming Tom Cruise! (smack)

Dita Von Teese Lesbian Sex Tape!!! (POTP)

Britney & K-Fed getting back together??? (popbytes)

Thanks to the magic of plastic surgery and highly-paid-fitness-gurus, Mariah Carey looks damn good. (gabby)

Tom Brady's girlfriend wear assless shorts!!! LOOK! (bitten)

New Kids On the Block back together --- NOW photos!!! (dlisted)

WWE wrestlers flip out at Kurt Angle in Orlando! (wrestling)

Kevin Federline gained weight!

By the looks of it, K-Fed is well-fed.
(Sidenote: I'm craving a White Castle burger right now.)

Hey... maybe K-Fed's pregnant too!!!

Could Paula Abdul win American Idol today? (and more)

Britney Spears: As Drawn By My Friend "Spicy Pants" (Smack)

Could Paula Abdul win American Idol if she were a contestant today??? Come watch her new music video and shake your head no. (Gabby)

Who wore it best: Elizabeth Hasselbeck or the table? SUPER Funny! (circus)

Is Jennifer Lopez having her fleet of babies while you read this??? (POTP)

Inside Suri Cruise's Strange Strange World (popbytes)

Christina Aguilera and her now humongous boobs visit the Ellen Show (video) -- (bitten)

Steve-O challenges K-Fed to rap battle! (youtube)

This man paints with his penis. (gabby)

Check out Paris Hilton's freakshow man hands!!! (circus)

Celebrity Dirt -- Justin Timberlake's New Look!!!