Suri Cruise gets dolls instead of a sister

In some awkward ass news, Suri Cruise wants a baby sister. But for some reason, Tom and Katie don't want to give her one. Whenever she asks for a baby sister to play with, Katie loads her in the car and brings her to LA's American Girl Place and buys her a new doll, usually worth around $100 or more.

There's only one explanation -- Chris Klein is really Suri's father because Tom is sterile. Or maybe he just can't get the job done in the sheets.

Celebrity Look-alikes!

Left: Suri Cruise out with mom yesterday afternoon
Right: That creepy ass girl from The Ring

Betty White turns Neil Patrick Harris on....and MORE!!!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE BLOGGER'S CHOICE AWARDS!! HELP US PULL OFF THE UPSET LIKE 1-2-3 KID DID TO RAZOR RAMON!!







Suri Cruise pigs out and looks cute doing it. (amygrindhouse)

Got zits near your lips? Check out these Tips! (VBT)

Audrina Partridge goes for a Sci-Fi relationship. (examiner)

Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw red carpet premiere. I can't believe that's actually a real sentence. (smack)

Brad Pitt admits he doesn't shower. (bedhead)

Sandra Bullock rocks some bling. (ayyyy)

Megan Fox loves being a sex symbol. (POTP)

Betty White makes Neil Patrick Harris horny. (gabby)

Kate Hudson dating A-Roid. (bitten)

More deets on Mr. Kennedy's release. (wrestling)

Suri Cruise has a crush on Cruz Beckham

After spending so much time together, it was only inevitable that this would happen -- Suri Cruise has a raging crush on Cruz Beckham. Whenever Suri knows that Cruz is coming over, she always begs her Katie Holmes to buy a chocolate cupcake since it's Cruz's favorite. At the same time, Cruz begs Victoria to bring him over to Suri's house so he can play on her trampoline and jungle gym. The Cruise/Beckham offspring even taken French and Spanish lessons together, and are enrolled in art class together. That's where Suri made Cruz a picture of the two of them holding hands inside of a heart.

Oh, toddler love...it'd be so much more precious if their parents weren't all creepy scientologists.

Cassie isn't as hot as this pic anymore...and MORE!!!

Legendary voice of the Philadelphia Phillies dies. (videoblogging)

Why Simon Cowell is always angry. (smack)

World, get ready for Scientologist Suri. (bedhead)

Diddy's girlfriend Cassie is f*cking mental. (POTP)

Phil Spector found guilty of murder, and looking like he hasn't showered in 3 years. (gabby)

Gwyneth Paltrow has rats. Where's Madonna to help you now, sucka? (bitten)

The Rock takes another shot at John Cena! (wrestling)

Jen Vs Angie, The Showdown in Tinsel Town..and MORE!!!!

Your mom loves to take polls about celebrities. Really. She told me last night. (celeb news)

Okay, I'll admit it. Tom Cruise might be bat sh*t crazy, but he makes adorable offspring. (smack)

Ohhhhh snap! Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie might rumble this week!! (candy)

Kanye was a sex addict as a kid. WTF? (POTP)

Beyonce's sister ends up in the hospital after taking pills!! (gabby)

Melinda Doolittle is back!! (bitten)

Hulkamania running wild at Wrestlemania 25?!?! (wrestling)

Dirty Thoughts with Tom Cruise

"That's right, my ladies. Follow me down here so I can push you off this cliff in the name of Scientology. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Katie and Suri help make the world a happier place

Katie Holmes and the adorable Suri hit up FAO Schwarz in New York City yesterday after the store closed so they could have an exclusive shopping spree. But unlike some snobby, douchebag celebs, Katie and Suri were buying gifts to give to Stockings with Care, which is a not-for-profit organization that makes sure children in need have presents to open up from Santa on Christmas Day.

If Tom Cruise wasn't so bat sh*t crazy, I'd try to set my little brother up with Suri.

Amy Winehouse gets laid in her hospital bed...and MORE!!!

Celebrities promote safe sex. (smack)

Full House coming back?! (candy)

It seriously looks like Priscilla Presley is humping David Archuleta's leg. (ayyyy)

Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy Winehouse bang in her hospital bed before he goes back to jail. No, I'm dead serious. (POTP)

Remember how Kim Kardashian said she wasn't posing for Playboy anymore? Yeah, she was just kidding. (gabby)

HAHAHAHAHA!!! A-Rod is already cheating on Madonna!! (bitten)

As mentally unstable as I think he is, Tom Cruise seems like he's a really good father. (yuddy)

Kurt Angle back to WWE?! (wrestling)

More proof the Cruise-Holmes crew is slowly taking over the world

She's a whopping 2 1/2 years old, but Suri Cruise is already making a big impact. Forbes magazine just named her the most influential toddler in Hollywood.

Someone tell me something. How can a 2 1/2 year old child have an influence on ANYTHING except diaper sales and trainer potty purchases?

More children being added to the Brangelina Bunch???...and MORE!!!

Jon Voight wants to be in a movie with his daughter before he dies. (smack)

Suri Cruise tells the paparazzi they're #1!! (candy)

Beyonce has bad fashion...and bad gas. (ayyyy)

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson still together? (POTP)

Angelina Jolie knocked up again?! (gabby)

Cheetah Girl shows of her...well, another word for cheetah/cat. (bitten)

People are saying Rihanna is pregnant. People also said the earth was flat back in the day. You decide what you believe. (yuddy)

Scott Hall invades TNA pay-per-view last night? (wrestling)

"Dirty Thoughts" with the Cruises

Tom: "Muahahahaha!! I own them. "

Katie: "Tom...is...my...master."

Suri: "Someone please help my mommy and me!!"

Suri Cruise is in a glass case of emotion...and MORE!!!

Jack Osbourne must be the happiest guy in the world. Natalie Portman is single! (smack)

What every married couple should hope NOT to turn out like: Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife. (candy)

I'm pretty sure Parker Posey killed a stuffed animal to make a purse. (ayyyy)

The true answers to all the Girls Next Door drama! (POTP)

You know the kids at school who walk around with crazy facepaint, dark leather trenchcoats, and don't hang out with anyone? Yeah, that'll be Suri Cruise. (gabby)

Not really celebrity news, but...how do you cure Multiple Sclerosis? NAKED CLOWNS! (bitten)

Stone Cold Steve Austin to wrestle one last match at Wrestlemania 25?! (wrestling)

The world officially doesn't care about Denise Richards...and MORE!!

Oh, look! Joey Lawrence is a David Beckham clone. (smack)

Suri is officially the best looking member of the Cruise family. (candy)

Solange Knowles looks like she has a fetus inside on her head. (ayyyy)

It's official, no one gives two craps about Denise Richards. (POTP)

Nick Jonas is sweet on being a public face for diabetes. I hope you enjoyed my horrible play on words there. (gabby)

It's a miracle! Jewel FINALLY fixed her teeth! Oh yeah, she got married, too. (bitten)

WWE releases 5 superstars! (wrestling)

Suri Cruise dresses best!

OK! Magazine named Suri Cruise the Best Dressed Celebrity Tot, further cementing the fact that Tom Cruise is an alien and he's taking over the world.

Here's how Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Suri celebrated the Fourth

Hanging with "normal folk" in Telluride, Colorado yesterday:

I bet the citizens of their home planet of "Zingwallawallazweep" are pissed.

Katherine Heigl loses her pants! (and more)

Paris Hilton looks... "special" in the first picture here. Please forgive me. And look. (POTP)

Suri Cruise is TWO years old!!! Look at her birthday cards here. Funny! (circus)

Britney forced to pay out her nose to her attourneys. (bitten)

Katherine Heigl loses her pants! (pantless pic included!) (fatback)

Which celebrity said "I’m a clean freak. I get really excited when things are clean, and I love sorting stuff. I love folding laundry in front of the television." (???) (ayyyy)

Ashlee Simpson took a break from dodging babby-in-the-belly rumors to perform on "The Today Show" this morning. (gabby)

Another angle of Cruz Beckham giving the middle finger to the paparazzi... or was he just itching his nose??? Hmmm.... (dlist)

Britney Spears... back in the recording studio!!! (popbytes)

CM Punk to turn heel??? (wrestling)

Could Paula Abdul win American Idol today? (and more)

Britney Spears: As Drawn By My Friend "Spicy Pants" (Smack)

Could Paula Abdul win American Idol if she were a contestant today??? Come watch her new music video and shake your head no. (Gabby)

Who wore it best: Elizabeth Hasselbeck or the table? SUPER Funny! (circus)

Is Jennifer Lopez having her fleet of babies while you read this??? (POTP)

Inside Suri Cruise's Strange Strange World (popbytes)

Christina Aguilera and her now humongous boobs visit the Ellen Show (video) -- (bitten)

Steve-O challenges K-Fed to rap battle! (youtube)

This man paints with his penis. (gabby)

Check out Paris Hilton's freakshow man hands!!! (circus)

Celebrity Dirt -- 2008 Prediction Spectacular

ALSO -- leave YOUR 2008 celebrity predictions as a comment here (just click comments below - duh). And remember - ANYONE can leave comments on any article at this blog, you don't need an account. Because sharing is fun. Unless it's Skittles. I don't share my Skittles.