Joan Rivers wins "Celebrity Apprentice"

Joan Rivers was hired as the Celebrity Apprentice last night during the 3-hour season finale of the show last night. Forgive me for not getting as detailed with this recap as I usually do, but quite honestly I was sh*tfaced by about 5pm yesterday and passed out around 9:30, so I only saw half of the show. But from what I do remember, the final project was to set up a pre-theater party and silent auction that was sponsored by Kodak which somehow worked in a Cirque du Soleil show. 6 of the eliminated contestants came back, with Joan and Annie Duke playing captains and choosing their teams. Joan picked Herschel Walker, Clint Black, and her daughter Melissa. Annie picked Brande Roderick, Dennis Rodman, and Tom Green.

After all was said and done, Joan finally got the retribution she thought she deserved (even though she's the one that was trashing Annie) by being named the 2nd Celebrity Apprentice and watched Annie get fired.

Frankly, I think Annie should've won. She played a really smart game, and a game that was really similar to the one that the first Celebrity Apprentice, Piers Morgan, played last season. Plus she's hotter.

Celebrity Apprentice recap -- Final 5

As you can tell by the picture, the finals are set for Celebrity Apprentice -- it's gonna be Joan Rivers and Annie Duke going at it head-to-head to be named the second winner of Celebrity Apprentice. But yesterday's show started out with the Fab 5 of Joan, Annie, Clint Black, Brande Roderick, and Jesse James. The two teams were assigned a task to promote Chicken of the Sea tuna fish two different ways, with a radio jingle and a 30-second radio commercial. It looked like KOTU had the huge advantage since Clint is a country star and Joan has her own radio show. Both teams actually got along pretty well, with a few disagreements between Jesse, Joan, and Clint (because of Clint being really stubborn as he has been all season), but for the most part they all worked well together. Both jingles were good (at least in my opinion), with Team Athena going for a more upbeat jingle, but KOTU leaning toward a more country sound. Athena's 30-second spot was basically two mothers talking back and forth about wanting their kids to eat healthy, while KOTU's spot was more funny-informative.

In the board room, Donald Trump said the executives at Chicken of the Sea really liked both jingles and both spots, but ultimately the country sound of KOTU's jingle is what made them lose, just because the execs didn't think it appealed to everyone. Since Clint was not only the Project Manager but also the creator and singer in the jingle, The Donald fired him. The final four then went on to meet with last year's winner Piers Morgan to just sit down for a chat so Donald could figure out who the final two would be. When all was said and done, the predictable final of Joan vs Annie was set up for next week's blockbuster 3-hour Finale. I'm split on who I want to win -- I think Joan is hilarious and she's definitely entertaining, but at the same time, Annie is playing a real good game and I feel like she's playing it like Piers was playing it last season. So how about you...are you on Team Joan or Team Annie?

P.S. Annie Duke is kinda cute, but she was super hot with longer hair.

Kate's gonna hate Jon times 8...and MORE!!!

I miss the juice boxes called Ssips, now check out these tips!! (VBT)

Ever wonder what Tori Spelling's cooter looks like? Well, here ya go! (amygrindhouse)

Melissa Rivers tells all about Celebrity Apprentice, including acting like a whiny little bitch when she left. (smack)

Woohoo!! Katy Perry and Hayden Panettiere caught in an all-female threesome at Disney!! (bedhead)

Yay for designers using less fabric during the recession!! (ayyyy)

Doug Reinhardt lays some dude out over Paris Hilton. (POTP)

Paula and Simon are in love? (gabby)

Jon from Jon and Kate Plus 8 has a date that's not with Kate!! (bitten)

WWE throwing together new tag teams. (wrestling)

Celebrity Apprentice recap

Promos for Celebrity Apprentice all week have said it promised to be an explosive show, and the ending definitely was! This week, the 2 teams were given a project to promote Right Guard's newest deodorant -- Fast Break (isn't that a Reese's candy bar, too?) But not before The Donald sent Jesse James over to the KOTU team from Athena, to even things out at 3-on-3. Jesse, Joan Rivers and Clint Black rocked the KOTU colors while Melissa Rivers, Brandi Roderick, and Annie Duke were on Team Athena. The teams objective was to make a 4-page ad insert and present it to the Right Guard reps.

Jesse, who runs his own magazine already, came up with a real good idea pretty quickly using more visuals and less wordage, but working in some of the key promotional points, too. Clint, who was the Project Manager, wasn't feeling it and went with his own idea, which Jesse thought sucked from beginning to end. Meanwhile, Brandi was the Project Manager for Athena and laid a ton of the work on Annie, who wouldn't shut up about knowing NBA star David Lee, who was going to be used in the ad campaign. Melissa felt like an outcast in the group (and was treated like one, too, if you ask me). After all was said and done, Right Guard liked KOTU's ad insert, which meant someone from Athena was going to be fired.

After a ton of drama and bickering, Donald fired Melissa, which made Joan flip a bitch and actually leave with Melissa. Now, I didn't catch the promo for next week, but I'm not sure whether we're already down to the Final Four, or if Joan actually plans on returning next week. We'll find out!

Celebrity Apprentice recap

LPGA hottie Natalie Gulbis and Herschel Walker were the latest celebs to be fired by Donald Trump off of Celebrity Apprentice on last night's broadcast. The first challenge involved picking jewelry from Ivanka Trump's line to sell at an auction. Natalie was assigned to pick which items to sell, but she got some smaller items that were tough to see from the stage, so her team struggled with bids. Natalie was fired for picking jewelry that was too small and making Ivanka look bad when no one placed bids.

Herschel was Project Manager of the next assignment, which was to create a healthy frozen food for Schwan's new Livesmart brand. Herschel decided to create a chicken dish with a fruit parfait dessert, while Jesse James, who was Project Manager of the other team, decided to go with gluten-free pasta and turkey meatballs. Herschel's team lost because there were too many components to the dish and it'd be too difficult to package. Herschel was fired for both picking the chicken instead of something more unique, and for the parfait which would've been a pain in the ass to package.

There was a ton more drama with Annie Duke and Joan Rivers, which can be summed up with Annie being totally two-faced (which I'll give her credit for since it's good game play, but it makes her look like a bitch), and Joan calling her Hitler. FYI this is the first (and probably last) time I've been on Team Joan.

Celebrity Apprentice recap

Singer Brian McKnight was the latest celeb fired from The Celebrity Apprentice last night. He was the project manager for the LifeLock challenge, which was basically coming up with a marketing scheme to sell the product to consumers. His team of Jesse James, Melissa Rivers, and Brandi Roderick lost to Natalie Gulbis' team of Joan Rivers, Annie Duke, Herschel Walker and Clint Black. The firing was down to Brian, Brandi, and Melissa. Brian was fired basically because Donald Trump called him out on not seeming like he wanted to be there anymore.

And in a little tease for next week's show, the celebrities started a challenge right away after Brian's firing, and it's an auction for Ivanka Trump's jewelry line. Piers Morgan appeared at the end of the episode and was asked by The Donald to keep an eye on everyone, mainly project managers Joan and Annie, who started feuded after Brian's firing.

T-Boz dishes dirt on Celebrity Apprentice

T-Boz may have been fired by Donald Trump from Celebrity Apprentice this past weekend, but she didn't go quietly. T-Boz dished some backstage dirt on the show and some of the contestants.
On Dennis Rodman: "Dennis says that he doesn't have a problem [with alcohol], so that's the answer really in itself. If he doesn't think he has a problem then he's not gonna go get help because he don't think anything is wrong. Honestly, we worked six days a week and 15 to 18 hour days. When we're up at 5 a.m. and you already have cranberry and vodka mixed at 7 a.m. or 8 a.m., it's like 'hello.' I want to say this about Dennis, though. He's a very smart man when it comes to marketing. He's like an artist. I noticed how creative he is because of the marketing stuff, like the wedding dresses. You know how he used to do with the hair colors? He's smart, but the alcohol clouds his judgment. I think that's the problem."

On Annie Duke: "Annie is very controlling, and you cannot take this away from her. She's a very smart woman and a very hard worker, but her people skills suck. She has no personality. The problem is Annie doesn't talk to people with respect, so I had to tell her that I don't disrespect myself, and I'm not about to let you disrespect me so watch how you talk to me. She respected what I said to her, because I told her that she is not a team player and this is a team. We said that Annie spells her name Anniiiii. It's all good."

On Brian McKnight: "Brian is a spoiled little brat for real. I like him though, but he's an a--hole. He has so much talent and he was very nice to me, but he was really trippin'. I asked him if he was gonna talk, and he said that he would talk a little bit. But when we're off set and in the hallway, it's okay to say hi."

On who she was closest to on the show: "I really got close to Brande [Roderick], the Playboy chick. She is the cutest thing, but she's actually really cool. I love Jesse James, Herschel Walker and Tom Green. I really liked the guys a lot, but I got along with all of the women. They didn't really bother me much. Natalie [Gulbis] is a really sweet person. We didn't get close, but I just like her as a person. She's a nice little Christian girl, and I liked that about her."

Speaking of Donald Trump...

In case you haven't gotten the chance to follow Celebrity Apprentice, comedian Andrew Dice Clay was the first one to be voted off the men's team after the fellas lost the kickoff challenge of earning the most money from selling cupcakes. Dice didn't really do much of anything, so he was fired. Then this past Sunday, former figure skater Scott Hamilton was voted off after the men lost a comic book hero challenge to promote a fashion store. Scott came up with a name for the hero that turned the store owners off, which earned him his firing.

Celebrity Apprentice is so much better than the regular show. Hands down.

Full cast for Celebrity Apprentice 2

The first ever season of Celebrity Apprentice blew up in the ratings and was eventually taken home by UK celebrity judge Piers Morgan. The new season premieres on March 1, and the full cast of celebs has been released. Check out who will be on the show:

Tom Green, Dennis Rodman (fresh off his appearance on another reality show, Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling), Clint Black, Andrew Dice Clay, professional poker player Annie Duke, LPGA golfer Natalie Gulbis, figure skater Scott Hamilton, Jesse James (no, not the Road Dogg from WWE), professional suitcase holder (I'm assuming that means she's on Deal or No Deal) Claudia Jordan, Khloe Kardashian, Brian McKnight, Joan Rivers and her daughter Melissa Rivers, Playboy bunny Brande Roderick, former Dallas Cowboys running back Herschel Walker, and T-Boz from the group TLC.

Mark my words, Tom Green will make this show...and probably be eliminated first.

Heather Mills booted from Celebrity Apprentice

Heather Mills has been booted from Celebrity Apprentice before the show has even started because of her outrageous demands, including a guaranteed spot in the finals.

Seriously, why is she even considered a celebrity? Because she was married to Paul McCartney? She's more annoying than that piece of corn on the cob that gets stuck in your teeth that you can't get rid of.

Khloe Kardashian to be on Celebrity Apprentice

Donald Trump has signed up Khloe Kardashian for the next season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Eh, at least if they have a challenge that involves filming something, she can use her sister Kim has a contact.

You'll never believe who wants to join next season's Celebrity Apprentice.

Oh yeah, no joke. O.J. Simpson is reportedly in talks to join the next season of the show.

I talked to O.J. on the phone, and he said he'd KILL to be on the next season of the show. He'd really like to take a STAB at raising some money for charity. And he thinks that Piers Morgan GOT AWAY WITH MURDER when he won last season.

See what I did there?