Headlines & Links -- 9-5-07

FIRST LOOK - See First Pics of Tom Brady's Baby!!! (Dirty)

Owen Wilson's family won't let Kate Hudson make contact. (Smack)

Shaq-Fu gets the big D... and for once it doesn't mean defense. (Gabby)

Jamie Foxx wants you to take the stairs, you slobby-peasant. (Dirty)

Here's Paris Hilton's "serious face." (Socialite)

Four more leaked Britney Spears tracks... and they kind of suck.  Listen to them here and now. (Beet)

Demi Moore is REVERSE-AGING -- look!  And is that how you spell "aging" because it looks weird to me right now.  Ageing?  Hmm... (Holy)

Jamie Foxx wants you to take the stairs, you slobby peasant.

Jamie Foxx is an elevator-hog. You can't ride with him. Hit the bricks.

He was at the Four Seasons Hotel in LA late last week for a stop on his publicity tour for "The Kingdom." When he needed to take the elevator, Foxx had his bodyguard ask the guests of the hotel to leave the elevator so Foxx could use it. Then on each floor the elevator stopped at, the bodyguard held his arm out and said "you can't enter."

What a great guy. Taking a firm stance on physical fitness. If you're not gonna help yourself, Jamie Foxx will help you help yourself by making you take the stairs. Feel the burn!!!

Nah! She doesn't look high maintenance or anything!

Nice pooch in a purse, miss foo-foo.

FIRST LOOK of Tom Brady's Baby!!!

OK Fine so you can't exactly SEE the baby... but... rest assured that little John Edward Thomas is in there somewhere. Also rest assured he's definitely NOT sporting a "supermodel" onesie!

By the way I never thought it was a tacky gift until right now. There was so much coverage on all the blogs that Gisele sent Bridget the onsie with the word "supermodel" sprawled across the front of it, and how she was a horrible human being for sending it to her. I thought it was a bit of an over-reaction. I mean, she DID send it in a basket filled with A THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of baby stuff. I think with that much in there, you can excuse a $15.00 cheesy onesie. I mean... it's better than "I may be in a diaper, but I'm in charge" and some of the other lame-o onesies that're customary.

BUT I forgot one thing... he's a boy. "Supermodel" is a tad tacky. Unless he's wearing a feather boa as an accessory. Then it's cool.

Celebrity Dirt -- Jerry Lewis and his big dumb mouth

Jerry Lewis: Drops the BIG F-bomb

Not f*ck. But worse. Watch as he drops it on network TV during his MDA Telethon by clicking his dumb-ass-stupid-dated-joke-grinning face above. Ugh. He says he's sorry now. What a tool. You buried yourself already.

Headlines & Links 9-4-07

Brad Pitt HUG ATTACK caught on tape!!!  Oh no!  She's gonna kill him with her love!!! (POTP)

"Beyonce Experience" in LA reviewed.  Unfortunately no flashing or falling on this leg.  (Popbytes)

Nicole Kidman Miscarried Tom Cruise's babies.  (dlist)

David Schwimmer (by the way where the hell is he?) is TOO GOOD for a Friends reunion.  (OMG!WTF?)

The View from Whoopi Goldberg's chair today was her foot... in her mouth. (Gabby)

Brett Michaels MIGHT ACTUALLY BE Fergie!  Photographic proof! (Smack)

Ray-J DIDN'T pee on Kim Kardashian... so Kim says. (Ninja)

Kelly Osbourne: Proud Panty-Wearer

Kelly Osbourne is speaking up saying "hooray! let's all wear our panties! yipee!"
Well maybe it's not a direct quote but this one really is:
"It baffles me. I can't even wear a thong. I always have to have my granny knickers on. I don't understand the whole no knicker-wearing trend. It's a bit sickening, but that's how desperate people are for attention. Instead of going out and doing something good, they'd rather show their vaginas to the world."

Umm... someone sounds like they have a bad case of vagina-envy. Easy there, Frankenstein.

Celebrity Dirt -- It's Britney Bitch

Come for the booze, stay for the complimentary Justin Timberlake

This past Saturday night in Vegas, club-goers that were out at JET NIGHTCLUB were treated to a totally-random-unplanned visit (and concert) from Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. Nothing's better than when you're drunk out at the bars and you get a free impromtu concert from the biggest superstar in music today. Well... besides free popcorn at the bar. It's usually stale but it kicks so much ass.

By the way to watch some of the performance from the club, just click the nifty little picture to the left.

Terri Hatcher is beginning to look JUST LIKE...

Goonies Sequel On the Way 20 Years Too Late

The Goonies is a classic of a movie. Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, sloth, and a gang of kids head out to search for One-Eyed Willy's buried treasure and save their homes. Frickin' kick-ass movie... I remember wondering as a kid if they'd make a sequel. I stopped wondering over the past 22 years since it came out.

Enter: the sequel.

Annnnnddd... it's gonna be animated.

Ugh! I can see the goofy-voice-acted wisecracking sloth now... and it makes me want to beat up a Baby Ruth.

Celebrity Dirt -- Andy Dick Out Of Control!

Ron Jeremy Is the Best Rapper In the "Dirty South"

I'm posting this because it's worth watching for at least 45 seconds. Listen to Ron Jeremy's cheesy-ass rap voice and gawk at his cheesy-ass facial expressions. Dope!

Britney's Ass Out In Public Again!

There once was a time when we would all party like it was Grandma Edna's 90th birthday bash when we heard that there was a Britney Spears ass-sighting.

Unfortunately those times (just like Grandma Edna) have passed.

But nonetheless, the ass was out there for everyone to see yesterday so being the Dirt-flinger I am, I present the ass shot to you.

Oh Britney.

JOUST: The movie?!?!?

Hollywood has surely run out of ideas. First a live action "Underdog," then a CG (hip hop) "Alvin & the Chipmunks" was announced, and now a new low:

1980's Atari game "Joust" is coming to the big screen.

Christine Peters (Area 51, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) and Michael Cerenzie (Blackout, Black Water Transit) will be producing the movie that they say will target the under 25 crowd.

Ummm... the game came out OVER 25 years ago dumbasses! And it's a game about people trying to knock each other off the backs of ostriches! If that's movie-worthy, I can't wait for the movie adaptation of Pong!!!

Check out the screenshot and just imagine the possibities for the movie:



I hope they cast Ben Affleck as the lead.

Dancing With the Stars 5 Cast Announced... and they all have their legs!

The cast for Dancing With the Stars 5 has been announced. Here they are:

- Wayne Newton, Vegas headliner
- Floyd Mayweather Jr, boxer
- Entrepreneur Mark Cuban
- Melanie Brown, aka “Scary Spice” and Mel B.
- Sabrina Bryan of Disney Channel’s Cheetah Girls.
- Indianapolis 500 champ Helio Castroneves
- Actress Jennie Garth
- Model-actress Josie Maran
- Soap star Cameron Mathison
- Singer Marie Osmond
- Model Albert Reed
- Actress Jane Seymour

Man... Wayne Newton??? Hopefully he can still move. We all know his face hasn't moved in like 9 years. He couldn't stop smiling if he tried.

Yesterday's Dirt... Celebrities Without Make-Up 2!

Rihanna is dating....

Shia LaBeouf! Wow! He's come a long way since "Even Stevens!" And I always thought the sister would be a break-out star too. As it turns out the only break she'll get is a 15 minute one for a smoke at Corn Dog On A Stick. But Shia and Rihanna are a pretty cool couple. Hope they last a few weeks.

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