Jillian Barberie thinks Fox sucks...and MORE!!!

Hey Taylor, update your site so I don't have to keep coming up with clever things on your link! (celeb news)

Jillian Barberie is SUPER heated. (smack)

Ashton Kutcher is gonna kill you if you're his neighbor. (candy)

This is a creepy Rihanna look-alike. (ayyyy)

Lily Allen wants to bone your grandpa. (POTP)

Tim Hasselbeck gives his wife Elisabeth the "QB Sneak." (gabby)

Pamela Anderson is in love...and not with Tommy Lee for the 482nd time! (bitten)

Ric Flair attacked by a bear?! (wrestling)

Kelly Rowland boots manager

Kelly Rowland has ended her management relationship with Mathew Knowles, A.K.A. Beyonce's father. There was no bad blood or anything between them, but Kelly was just ready to move on.

Mathew Knowles has been a positive influence in my career. I have had great success under his guidance -- both as a member of Destiny's Child and with my solo projects. Although we have decided to part ways professionally, the Knowles family and the entire Music World Entertainment team will always be my family.

She's going to remain with Columbia Records and has started work on her third solo album.

Chad Lowe and girlfriend expecting a baby

Congrats goes out to Chad Lowe and his girlfriend Kim Painter, who just found out their pregnant with their first child!! Kim is due in the summer.

Congrats!!

American Idol apologizes to Louisville

There was a HUGE misunderstanding the other night on American Idol that actually caused Paula Abdul to minorly flip on contestant Mark Mudd. At the end of his horrible performance, Mark was leaving the room and told the judges to "be careful." Paula immediately reacted asking if that was a threat, and poor Mark was doing the best he could to explain that he wasn't threatening them, but he more or less meant "take care." You can check out the clip below, but I'm actually going to shock the world and say I can't blame Paula. After having someone kill herself right outside of her home, I'd be a little on edge if someone told me to be careful too, especially if he looked kinda like a creep. Either way, Idol released an official apology for the misunderstanding in regional terminology.

Simon Cowell hates Kara and Paula

Paula Abdul is loving the fact that her tight friendship with new American Idol judge Kara DioGuardio is driving Simon Cowell absolutely crazy. Since Kara and Paula were roomies back in the day, it's been like a reunion for them and they're closer than ever, and it's apparently making Simon sick to his stomach.

Honestly, I can't blame him. I have nothing against Kara, but I saw Paula on an episode of Rachael Ray once, and she's annoying as hell when she's around a BFF. I can only imagine what her and Kara are like behind the scenes. Simon probably wants to piledrive both of them.

Chef Wars (hey, that'd be a good name for a TV show!)

You would think that the culinary world would be a competitive but friendly one. Not if you're Hell's Kitchen master Gordon Ramsay and "Iron Chef" Mario Batali. There's a HUGE feud between the two, and it's caused Mario to deny Gordon from dining at any of his restaurants. Apparently, Gordon was talking smack behind Mario's back, calling him "Fanta Pants."

Gordon Ramsay = Badass.

Benji c*ckblocked Paris

During the taping of My New BFF, Benji Madden refused to allow any straight guys compete on the show with the chance of winning, because he was convinced they would've just wanted to get down her pants.

Umm...I realize everyone craps on Paris because she's a skank, but, could you blame Benji? Look at that...like I said, skankiness aside, how could you NOT want a piece of that? (Although she laid there like a dead fish in her homemade porno, so I'd pass.)

The reason for Shenae Grimes' thinness

Shenae Grimes has gotten A TON of crap since she joined the cast of 90210 for being way too thin and setting a bad example for girls who watch the show. Because apparently girls have no mind for themselves and NEED to be as thin as the people they see on TV, but that's besides the point. Anyway, her friends say that she didn't really get to be as thin as she is now until her ex-boyfriend died. Losing him apparently sent her into a tailspin and she just stopped eating all together.

I'd call the story B.S. if I didn't personally know of some girls who have done stuff like that after only breaking up with someone, let alone having them die.

Neil Patrick Harris embarrasses the crap out of himself

You know how sometimes when you're sitting on the porcelain throne with nothing better to do, you have a nice conversation with yourself? About life? Or come up with good ideas? Or just go for the good ole pep talk? Well, okay...I do. And so does Neil Patrick Harris, who embarrassed the crap out of himself (pun is most certainly intended) at a Hollywood event when he wore his microphone into the bathroom. The crowd heard everything, including him telling himself to "wake up."

Sounds like NPH failed to follow the number one rule in life: ALWAYS take a pre-game dump.

Patrick Swayze's mom thinks he can beat cancer

Patrick Swayze's mom is convinced that he can beat his pancreatic cancer if he just says positive. She's even asking his fans to pray for him to overcome the cancer. And while Patrick is actually staying pretty positive and confident, there's also reports that he's preparing for the worst and spending as much time with his wife and family as he can.

I'm getting sick of these reports coming out making him sound like he's just about on his death bed. There's been reports like this out there before and he's shot them down, so I'm not confirming that he's actually convinced he's going to die, as positive as he's trying to stay. Besides, nobody puts Patty in a corner.

Anne Heche's boyfriend won't divorce his wife

Even though Anne Heche is pregnant with his baby, James Tupper is refusing to divorce his wife. They've been separated for a while, and James and Anne have been together since the split, but James has been dragging his feet on making it official. Of course, Anne is knocked up and starting to freak out that her baby is going to be born to a father that's married to another woman.

I'd throw money down that says James pulls the whole, "I'm sorry, Anne, but I'm still in love with my wife." Why else would he be dragging his feet on divorcing his wife for 2 years?!

Jennifer Aniston is a huge tease...and MORE!!!

Go here because I told you to and because he links to us. Please? (celeb news)

Let this be a lesson to all of you: Don't "Bounty Hunt" your "Dog" in public. (smack)

Hello there, nudist Amy Winehouse. (candy)

Jennifer Aniston teases us on the GQ cover, then says "NO COOTER VIEWING FOR YOU!" (POTP)

Tony Romo cheats on Jessica Simpson IN HER OWN BED?! (gabby)

Katie! Say it ain't so!! Tom knocked you up again?! (bitten)

Former TNA star backstage at 2 WWE events!! (wrestling)

Celebrity Look-alikes!!!

Left: Joanna Pacitti
Right: Megan Fox

Kate Winslet and her hubby fly separately

At first when I started hearing about this story, I was going to make a joke about being convinced that Kate Winslet was banging Leonardo DiCaprio behind her husband's back. But after finishing the story, I couldn't. Kate and hubby Sam Mendes always try to fly on separate planes when they're heading to an event, appearance, promotion, or whatever else, because of their kids. They figure that way if one of them gets in a crash, the other will still be around to take care of the two little ones.

A little morbid, but I suppose it's pretty smart. Especially since Sam was originally scheduled to be on one of the 9/11 planes (the one that hit the Pentagon), and one time on a flight to Texas, Kate was on a plane with a guy that stood up and said he was an Islamic terrorist and everyone was going to die. Creepy.

Shakira forgives cheating boyfriend

Shakira is incredibly sexy and a great singer (well, according to some...frankly, I think she sounds like a goat), but on top of that she's also very forgiving. The Latina Britney Spears (at least, that's how I see her) is dating the son of a former Argentinean president and found out he cheated on her with Venezuelan model Eglantina Zingg. Instead of dropping him like she probably should've done, she's decided to try and work it through it.

Which just goes to show that celebs are as dumb as you and me when it comes to relationships. And I mean, really...would you cheat on THAT?

Forget Raymond...everybody loves Jay Leno!

Jay Leno landed the number one spot in the Harris Poll, which determines who American's favorite TV personality is. He topped the list of greats including Oprah, Ellen, and David Letterman. Check out the other 9 who rounded out the top 10!

2. Hugh Laurie
3. Ellen DeGeneres
4. Oprah Winfrey
5. David Letterman
6. Jon Stewart
7. Charlie Sheen
8. Steve Carrell
9. Stephen Colbert
10. Mark Harmon

Brad Pitt and John Mayer...it's on like Donkey Kong!

Oh snap!! John Mayer threw out some fightin' words toward Brad Pitt in a comedic video that he posted online, and used Brad's latest flick to do it. He called the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Brat" and said that he hasn't even been bothered to see it yet.

I'm thinking this won't help John's case of NOT being an emo drama queen, like a ton of people think he is.

Mischa Barton gets some lady love

While celebrating her 23rd birthday in Paris the other day, Mischa Barton was caught liplocking with a Canadian model.

Canadian cottage cheese thighs. Sounds fantastic, eh?

Hugh Jackman getting help with Oscar hosting

Hugh Jackman is a little bit nervous about his upcoming gig as host of the Oscars in a few weeks. He wants to make a good impression, so he's turned to director of Australia, Baz Luhrmann, for help with his opening monologue. Baz is helping Hugh set up choreography for a huge opening number.

I can understand wanting to make a good impression, but turning to the director of Australia? That movie BOMBED in theaters!

Joanna Pacitti getting pooped on

Miss Manda's pick for this season's American Idol winner, Joanna Pacitti, is getting sh*t on by any and everyone on message boards. Manda already touched on Joanna's past, about how she was signed to a record label, had a few hits on some movie soundtracks, and Britney Spears even covered one of her songs. But honestly, if no one ever said anything about her being a signed talent before, would anyone really care? If you have talent, you're going to make it after being on Idol whether you finish first for 15th. Look at William Hung -- dude can't sing for sh*t and didn't even make it to Hollywood, but he still had somewhat of a career. Daughtry didn't finish in the Top 2 and he's had a sick career. If you have talent, then you'll make it. Some people just need a little extra exposure. So whether Joanna makes it to the show and wins or not, that won't necessarily hold any of the other contestants back. So all of you just quit your bitching, and stop saying stuff like this:

Post 1: Let's stick to what the show is supposed to be about: taking truly talented unknowns and turning them into stars. I do not like the plants. Post 2: You know that gift that an acquaintance of yours got but didn't want? It sat there, and it sat there. Then [she] re-wrapped it, and presented it as new to an unsuspecting receiver,who didn't want it either. That's Pacitti. America: You've been re-gifted. Enjoy!

Brit's getting her sexy back

Britney Spears just posted new pictures up on her website of her rehearsing for her upcoming world tour. It's looking like she's getting her hot ass abs back based on the pics that are up there. She's even been kicking up the intensity at the gym, doing 2 hours of intense cardio and resistance training at the gym 3 days a week, on top of all of her dance rehearsals.

She's looking SMOKIN' hot again! Check out the rest of the pics she posted here!

Speaking of PETA...

This is a bit of a random sidebar, but I always thought Peta Wilson from La Femme Nikita was insanely hot.

That is all.

NBC tells PETA to F-off

Maybe if PETA didn't act like such total douchebags, more people would be cooperative with them. NBC put the kybosh on PETA's Super Bowl Ad for Sunday because they found it too sexually explicit. Honestly, I don't think it's all that bad, and it's no worse than some of the GoDaddy.com commercials, but just because it's PETA, I'm glad it got banned. BUT...we do have it right here, so check out below what you'll be missing on your widescreen HDTV on Sunday.

Lindsay Lohan is as thin as a candy cane...and MORE!!!

Polls about celebrities are almost as good as pancakes! (celeb news)

Lindsay Lohan could hide behind a pencil and disappear. (smack)

Ladies and gentlemen...I give you, for the first time ever...THE BRANGELINA TWINS! (candy)

Maggie Gyllenhaal channels her inner Mary Poppins. (ayyyy)

AnnaLynne McCord loves to ride. Wow. (POTP)

Nicole Scherzinger rubs her..umm..."Pussy Cat Doll" on stage. (gabby)

Madonna's riding A-Rod again? (bitten)

Ric Flair at Wrestlemania 25?! WOOOOOOO!!! (wrestling)

"Dirty Quotes" with J.C. Chasez (from Nick Carter's birthday party)

"Wow, Justin! You look really different!!"

"Dirty Thoughts" with the Backstreet Boys

Howie D: "Look at my teeth. MY TEEEEEEEEEEETH!!!!"

Nick: "I'm definitely gettin' some ass tonight."

AJ: "Why the f*ck do I still hang with these guys?"

Ginger Spice is engaged!

Congratulations to Geri Halliwell, who just announced that she's engaged to her boyfriend Fabrizio Politi!! There's been no date set yet, but here's a little creep factor for you -- they've only been dating for a month. And he dropped over $300 G's on a ring.

SHOTGUN WEDDING!!!

Janet Jackson cancels part of her tour again

If you remember back in the fall, Janet Jackson cancelled about 7 shows because she was hospitalized randomly. Turns out she just had some severe migraines and nothing serious. Well, she's back at it, cancelling her appearances in Japan from Feb 14 to Feb 22. She's blaming it on the failing economy.

Is it me, or is that a lame ass excuse?

"Ugly Betty" gets the shaft

ABC is putting Ugly Betty on hold and pulling it off the air to make room for their new Thursday night line-up. They're going to add in In the Motherhood and Samantha Who? instead, and obviously will keep Grey's Anatomy in the same spot as well.

Whammy. I wonder if America Ferrara is throwing a divalicious fit behind the scenes!

Brian Dunkleman heading back to TV?

In case you don't remember who Brian Dunkleman is, he was the co-host of American Idol with Ryan Seacrest in its very first season. During preparation for the 2nd season, Brian decided not to return, and you all know what happened from there. Idol took off and Ryan is now wiping his ass with stacks of $100's while Brian...well, isn't.

But Brian is trying to make his comeback, pitching a show idea called American Dunkleman. It's almost like Curb Your Enthusiasm v2.0, where Brian will play a fictional version of himself that tries to re-claim his fame in the television world while embarrassing himself, disappointing his friends, and constantly being reminded that he could've been a multi-millionaire if he stayed with Idol.

Sounds like a good show! Hope it gets picked up!!

Kellie Pickler's new look

Kellie Pickler ditched the sweet, wholesome, southern belle look for her new role as the celebrity spokesperson for Sexy Hair.

I don't know what the hell Sexy Hair is, but I'd buy it!

Dakota the Diva to appear in New Moon...and MORE!!!

Here...go take polls if you haven't yet. Because we know you have nothing better to do. (celeb news)

Mischa Barton could be the poster child for starving children. (smack)

Bijou Phillips should probably never be a psychiatrist. (candy)

Fatty McFederline will NOT be on Dancing with the Stars. (POTP)

Mickey Rourke stepping into the ring at Wrestlemania 25!! FTW!!! (gabby)

Dakota Fanning on tap for Twilight sequel. (bitten)

Legends match happening at Wrestlemania 25?! (wrestling)

"Dirty Thoughts" with Miley Cyrus

"I think this is how they did it in that movie Barnyard Babes 3."

"Dirty Quotes" with Jessica Simpson

"Hey y'all! Like my belt? I bought it off The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase!"

Oprah was almost a Senator?

The Illinois Governor who has caused a bunch of drama because he was going to auction off President Obama's Senate seat, Rod Blagojevich, was on Good Morning America yesterday and said that he considered naming Oprah Winfrey to the seat. Oprah had absolutely no idea about it until she watched GMA. Her BFF Gayle King called her during her radio show to get some reaction comments from her.

My plan was to get up and watch Good Morning America and work out and then I just thought, 'Let me just lay here another half hour.' If I had been watching, as I normally watch -- from the treadmill, I would have fallen off the treadmill. I'm pretty amused by the whole thing.

Oprah told Gayle she wouldn't have taken the seat because she has no time between all of her jobs, but that she thought she could do a pretty kickass job.

Terrell Owens gets his own show

Dallas Cowboys' Wide Receiver Terrell Owens is getting his own reality show on VH1 that will take a look at his life off the field. The show is set to hit the boob tube during the summer, and will also star his best friends and publicists, Monique Jackson and Kita Williams, who will act as "matchmakers and therapists" for T.O.

Somebody please tell me that this means no more Brooke Knows Best!!!

People hate Billy Joel

I never realized how much people legit despise Billy Joel. I always saw him as like, not a musical legend, but insanely popular. Come on, Piano Man? Movin' Out? People go CRAZY over those songs! But the people who go crazy must be either mentally insane or drunk, because the better half of the human race pretty much wishes someone would rip out his vocal cords. Just check out what critic Ron Rosenbaum has to say about him.

It's not that they dislike anything exterior about you. They dislike you because of who you really are inside. They dislike you for being you. At a certain point, consistent, aggressive badness justifies profound hostility. They hate you just the way you are.

Someone get the ointment, 'cause that's a BURN!

Martin Sheen blames himself for Charlie's problems

Martin Sheen has a new book out where he gets pretty candid and blames himself for a lot of his kids' problems. And by kids, I mean Charlie Sheen, because really...who has cared about Emilio Estevez since The Mighty Ducks? Anyway, Martin says that he used to be a drunken "monster" and physically discipline his kids, which he thinks is a major reason behind Charlie's drug problems.

Wonder if Martin thinks it's his fault that Charlie can't really keep it in his pants, too?

Hilary Duff never leaves her sister behind

Let's hear it for sisterly love! Hilary Duff worked her negotiation skills with the producers of the new sitcom she just signed onto and made sure that her sister Haylie would get hooked up with a recurring role onto the show. They gave in, of course, since Hilary has the strength of 4,000 tweenie boppers, and are giving Haylie multiple appearances on the show.

Now if only Hilary could hook her sister up with a nose job...

Jeremy Piven takes great pictures

I'm pretty sure the Mercury has gone to Jeremy Piven's head. While he was at a photo shoot the other day, Jeremy pretty much made fun of the entire film crew while they were trying to direct him on how to take the perfect picture. He decided to do his own version, which was him popping his collar, letting out a weird ass scream, and ripping the sleeves off his $350 shirt.

Maybe I should do that and make it my new profile pic on my MySpace page.

Did Jennifer Love Hewitt cheat on her ex-fiance?

We reported a few weeks ago that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall went through a random and sudden split just months before their wedding. Jennifer even had a wedding dress picked out and purchased...that's how close it was. But apparently, she's had some other random and abrupt breakups, at least according to a pop reject.

Former LFO'er Rich Cronin trashed J-Love and talked about how she started hooking up with other guys shortly after she bought him a promise ring. I find that hard to believe for some reason, not that I'm BFF with Jen, but that just doesn't sound like something a girl would do. Then again, nothing surprises me about girls. Either way, I'm thinking Rich should mind his own business and keep his trap shut. And before any of you tell me to get off his back because he has cancer, shut the hell up. That has nothing to do with this story.

Lisa Rinna answers the question "Do I shave?"...and MORE!!!

Bacon covered cheese fat. (celeb news)

Jenna Jameson is NOT an attractive pregnant woman. (smack)

Hello there, Brad Pitt's crotch. (candy)

Note to Lisa Rinna: If you're going to wear a dress with a ridiculously high slit, try wearing panties. (ayyyy)

Tom Brady and Gisele STILL aren't engaged! (POTP)

Prince Harry gets dropped by his girl! (gabby)

SAG award re-cap...red carpet pics and winners list! (bitten)

Royal Rumble results...Matt Hardy did what?!?! (wrestling)

"CSI" actor attacked on subway

CSI:NY actor Gerald McCullouch, who plays Bobby Dawson on the show, was attacked on a subway in the middle of the night over the weekend. Gerald apparently was just sitting in his seat working on his laptop when some random douche walked in front of him and tried to swipe his laptop. Lucky for Gerald, aside from acting, he's also a pretty decent boxer.

It was about 2 AM... The train was pulling into the Utica Blvd. station when I noticed someone cross in front of me. Just as the doors opened, he reached for [my] laptop. I guess he thought he'd grab it and dash out the door, but I gave him a body shot to the chest. That's when he pulled a kitchen knife out of a plastic bag. This thing must have had a blade 10 inches long. The other passengers started running out the door into the next car. I still had my headphones on with music blaring. I yelled at the top of my lungs, 'Get the f*ck away from me!' That's when the knife came down into my back. I don't know whether he lost his grip or what, but the blade didn't penetrate my leather jacket. We were in each other's face. I think I punched him again as the doors closed and the train started leaving the station. I'm watching MTA workers on the platform looking in. I thought, 'Great, now I'm alone in this car with him.

The engineer ended up stopping the train halfway out of the station and employees got him off the train just as 10 cops flew in and arrested Gerald's attacker. Don't f*ck with CSIs!!!

Patrick Swayze writing a memoir

Patrick Swayze is planning on writing a personal memoir with his wife of 33 years, Lisa Niemi. Patrick said the book isn't going to be an inspirational read, though, but more of a realistic look at life's journey. There's no word on a release date for the book.

I'm getting the impression that Patrick is a lot sicker than he's letting on. He's been battling pancreatic cancer for about a year now, but he's always said he's not as bad as reports say he is. But I'm almost getting the impression that this memoir is kind of like a goodbye letter from him...

Molly Ringwald pregnant with twins!

Congrats to Molly Ringwald, who just found out she's pregnant with twins! It'll be the second and third kids for her and husband Panio Gianopoulos, with their first child (daughter Mathilda Ereni) coming in 2003.

And in a spoiler to fans of The Secret Life of an American Teenager, producers are planning on having her pregnancy written into the show! Congrats again!

SNL's Fred Armisen engaged!!

Sending out a congratulations to SNL's Fred Armisen and Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss, who announced their engagement over the weekend! No details were released on how Fred did it or where, but Elisabeth said "it was perfect."

"Dirty Quotes" with Miley Cyrus

"Yup. I use these two."

Kelly Rutherford's divorce is getting even more ugly. The Gossip Girl star said that her husband is more concerned with manicures, shopping, and eyebrow waxing than he is with his own son. Kelly also said that if she ever needed to, she'd quit acting in order to gain custody of their son.

So...Kelly basically married a selfish gay man? Or he's just SUPER metro.

Donald Trump is bankrupt?!

Donald Trump, the man that probably wipes his ass with a stack of $100 bills, is facing bankruptcy on one of his Atlantic City casinos!! He owes $1.2 billion on it, but his financial advisers say there's no possible way he can pay it all back in time.

You KNOW the economy is bad when it gives The Donald another Stone Cold Stunner.

Hulk Hogan spying on Linda?

In another attempt to make her husband look like a douchebag and keep herself from looking like a kiddie-toucher, Linda Hogan is accusing her husband, The Hulkster, of having their gardener spy on Linda. She says Hulk bullies the gardener after he visits the house to try and get info on what's going on with his soon-to-be ex-wife.

Meanwhile in Miami, Brooke-tini is walking around with a ton of breasticular fortitude.