Hilary Duff joins Gossip Girl...and MORE!!

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Michael Jackson is kicking ass on the Billboard charts with the same songs from the 80's. (amygrindhouse)

Farrah Fawcett funeral pics. (VBT)

OK! magazine cover of Michael Jackson's final moments. (smack)

Megan Fox kinda almost trashes a screenwriter. (bedhead)

Janice Dickinson's dog, probably moments before it's death. (ayyyy)

Hilary Duff joins Gossip Girl. (POTP)

Jaclyn Smith regrets not reuniting with Farrah Fawcett. (gabby)

WTF? Michael Jackson had a secret wife?! (bitten)

Taz returning to in-ring competition?! (wrestling)

"Dirty Thoughts" with Hilary Duff

"Gotta make my boobs bounce...gotta make my boobs bounce."

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and other A-listers to make cameos on TV shows during May Sweeps

With a week left before we barrel-ass into the month of May, it's time to gear up for May sweeps, when we'll get non-stop new episodes of our favorite shows until they all climax (hehe, I said climax) into season finales. During this time, you'll see some popular guest stars popping up all over the boob tube (hehe, I said boob) -- here's a breakdown of who's going on what show!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar: Two of the ladies from The View will guest star on Ugly Betty's season finale as hosts of The View. Who woulda thought?!

Salma Hayek: She'll be making her return to 30 Rock, and I'm pretty sure I've seen in promos that she kisses Tina Fey. Fellas, set those DVRs!

Tom Sizemore: Tom will be guesting on the new hit Southland as a famous star. I know, not that interesting.

Jeremy Kent: The kid who played Elliot on E.T. will be guesting on the original CSI as Catherine's first-ever convicted killer who finds fault with her case 20 years later. I actually think this episode aired last night, but there may be continued storylines with it. (I watched Grey's last night, sorry folks.)

Michelle Trachtenberg: The former Harriet the Spy star is making a return cameo on Gossip Girl as Georgina Sparks, the chick who got shipped off to boot camp after Season 1. Who the hell names their kid Georgina?

Hilary Duff: She'll star as a young and irresponsible mother on Law & Order: SVU. I've also recently noticed that she's 20 times hotter than her sister.

Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J: The two fellas will be starring on NCIS as the roles they'll play in the spin-off of NCIS at the beginning of next season. CBS decided to get a jump-start with a two-part backdoor pilot.

Okay, so I didn't realize there were so many...if you wanna check out the rest of the list (including a boatload of peeps that are lending their voices for Family Guy over the next few weeks), just head here.

Hilary Duff enters the fashion world

Hilary Duff is entering the fashion world and designing a line for DKNY Jeans. She'll call her line Femme, and it'll be featuring "sweater tunics with removable cowl scarves, tees with detachable and printed necklaces, charmeuse cozies that layer like scarves, [and] skinny jeans with adjustable belt loops for thin or wide belts." They're going to range from $39-$129.

I know nothing about women's fashion, but adjustable belt loops must be bad ass?

Hilary Duff WILL put the verbal smackdown on you...and MORE!!!

If I said my Celebrity Poll was 12 inches, would you still take it? (celeb news)

Hilary Duff burns Faye Dunaway's old wrinkly ass!! (smack)

Woo hoo, more Diva Drama!! Beyonce vs Etta James! (candy)

If the Pussycat Dolls weren't dressed like sluts, you wouldn't know who they were. (ayyyy)

Welcome back to the limelight, Eliza Dushku. Thanks for leaving your clothes behind. (POTP)

Denise Richards is bringing her complicated ass to Dancing with the Stars. (gabby)

Jude Law is a tranny?! (bitten)

No more WWE Divas getting nekkid?! (wrestling)

Katy Perry trashes her ex...and MORE!!!

Taking polls about celebrities should be as natural as buttering your toast. (celeb news)

R.I.P. Michael Lohan. Wait, he didn't die? Just his blog? Damn. (smack)

Hilary Duff's in a feud with a grandma!! (candy)

Ashton's thoughts on Michael Phelps' bong hit. (POTP)

I'll drink Katy Perry's milk any day. (gabby)

Sam Lufti sues Britney Spears for...battery? Yes, because Britney beats bitches up all the time. (bitten)

Jim Ross hints that Ric Flair will wrestle at Wrestlemania 25?! (wrestling)

Hilary Duff never leaves her sister behind

Let's hear it for sisterly love! Hilary Duff worked her negotiation skills with the producers of the new sitcom she just signed onto and made sure that her sister Haylie would get hooked up with a recurring role onto the show. They gave in, of course, since Hilary has the strength of 4,000 tweenie boppers, and are giving Haylie multiple appearances on the show.

Now if only Hilary could hook her sister up with a nose job...

Hilary Duff lands a sitcom role

Expect to see Hilary Duff on your TV very soon. She just landed a role on a brand new sitcom called Barely Legal that will appear on FOX. Hil-dog will star as a young lawyer who passes the bar when she's only 18 years old (it's based on a true story.)

Hilary Duff. Dressed up as a lawyer? It's my favorite show already. Va-va-voom!!!

Hilary Duff admits she's not a virgin?

In the January issue of Maxim magazine, Hilary Duff blasts Elle magazine on misquoting her about her virginity.

You know what? I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that.

She also said she doesn't get why people even care about it, since "that's nobody's business but my own!" I can easily answer that question though. When you're hot, people want to know about your sex life. Happens to me all the time.

K-Fed should breast feed...and MORE!!!

Rachel Zoe is the new model for the skeleton in your Science class. (smack)

The Hilton sisters show Paris' new BFF how to suck off a Grey Goose bottle. (candy)

Got nose plugs? Because I think Hilary Duff just farted. (ayyyy)

K-Fed's fat!! (POTP)

David Beckham and his bodyguard lay a hurtin' on a photog. (gabby)

See how good airbrushing makes Jessica Alba look. (bitten)

Brad worried about Angelina's health? (yuddy)

Suicide's identity revealed!! (wrestling)

Hilary Duff returning to the small screen

NBC has signed Hilary Duff to a deal to develop her own show, and also signed her onto several guest spots for other NBC shows. They're hoping her "huge following" will boost the ratings on the Peacock Network. Hilary actually filmed a pilot for a show on CBS a few years ago, but it never got picked up.

I'm assuming they won't want her to shove a scorpion down by her cooter or get tied up bondage-style. Old pervs everywhere just cried a little.

The Duff gets dirty

Hilary Duff's new video for a new track off of her Greatest Hits album had to be edited or else it would be banned in America. In the video for Reach Out, Hilary is shown in bondage and also shown licking and sucking some dude's finger like a lollipop. Obviously the FCC flipped a bitch and they had to edit the naughty parts out.

Well, the Dirt came through for you again, my friends. Here's a copy of the uncensored video (which isn't bad AT ALL and I've seen a lot worse in other videos), complete with bondage and finger-sucking!

Hilary Duff engaged?

For the last few weeks, Hilary Duff has been seen in public with a nice rock on her left hand. Is she engaged to NHL star Mike Comrie? The answer is...

NO! She told The Sun that she's not engaged, but still just exclusively dating ole Mikey. Which makes sense, because if I were him, I don't know if I'd want to date a girl that shoves a scorpion down her pants and lets it chill by her vajayjay.

Hilary Duff out shopping

There's no story with this, but I just think Hilary Duff's face in this picture looks priceless. She legit looks like she's about to open up a can of whoop ass on someone.

Hilary Duff's New Single

I like it but I don't know if I can picture it on the radio or not.. definitely a dance beat so I could see it playing at a club but... can't decide if I can see it on the radio or not.. (and when I say see, I mean hear haha) I like it though.. it's catchy!

Hilary Duff's dad sent to jail!

You can't make this sh*t up. Hilary Duff's mom brought her dad to court and asked the judge for $25,000 for Hilary's 21st birthday party, which is what they spent on Haylie's 21st. Hil-dawg's dad Bob wasn't for it, but the judge actually granted Mama Duff's request and made Bobby pony up $12,500, but he wasn't done. He sentenced Bob to jail for 10 days for contempt of court for selling assets without court approval worth $367,537.

Whoops!

I bet $12,500 doesn't seem so bad now, huh Bobby-boy?

Hilary Duff engaged?

While out on the town with her boyfriend, Hilary was seen with a ring on her wedding ring finger. Her reps say there's no engagement, but J-Lo also denied being pregnant with twins until her water broke, so who knows.

Miley Cyrus tops the list of Richest Tween Stars

Surprise, surprise. Miley was named the richest tween by Forbes Magazine, making $25 mil this year. Behind her were the Jonas Brothers with $12 mil, then Ashley Tisdale with $5.5 mil, Hilary Duff with $5 mil, and Vanessa Hudgens bringing up the rear with $3.2 mil.

Wowzahs...Miley p0wned!!

The Stars Love the Lakers... and we hate them for it.

In case you didn't know already the writers of this blog -- Jadd, Miss Manda, Stench the Swampmonster, and myself -- are all from the Boston area.

That having been said, here is a list of celebrities we all must hate:

Hilary Duff and her boyfriend Mike Comrie
David Beckham
Magic Johnson
Kristin Davis
Kanye West
Dustin Hoffman
Andy Garcia
David Arquette
Fergie
Jack Nicholson
Penny Marshall
Eddie Murphy
Sylvester Stallone
Steven Spielberg

Why the hate? They were all in the crowd cheering the Lakers on last night in LA when they beat the Celtics 87-81. So this is our celebrity black list. At least until the playoffs are over.

Don't worry, we had ONE celebrity there cheering Boston on last night: Donnie Walberg. Thank God the New Kids are kind of cool again.

Speaking Of Hilary...

It's been rumored that she may sign on to be part of the cast of 90210! She was sent a script and is up for the role of the principal's daughter, Annie Mills, an awkward theater brat who wants to fit in with the "anti-cool" crowd.

With all the gossip of people who "might" join the cast and all that, I can't really piece together the new series.. can't tell if I'll like it or not...

I think the Simpson sisters should be on it.. but that's just me... just sayin.. haha