HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Alright ya turkeys, I'm officially taking the next few days off to enjoy the Holidays and recharge my batteries. Apologies on if my posts have blown lately, I'm just a tad bit burnt out. BUT...I'll be back and ready to lay some smack down on stupid celebs on Monday. Enjoy any and all days off you get, be safe, eat a crapload of food...AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Amy Winehouse should pick out a casket now...and MORE!!!

Remember when I said Amy Winehouse dumping her husband was a possible turn-around? Yeah, forget I said all that. (smack)

Joey Fatone's career has officially turned to sh*t. No, seriously. (candy)

Hey look who's back! It's Angela from Who's the Boss! And she's wearing...umm...I'm not sure, but now I know why she's been gone for so long. (ayyyy)

You won't believe the talk of the town -- Michelle Obama's booty?! (POTP)

Britney's dad is NOT a happy camper with her. (gabby)

A-Rod having Madonna over for Thanksgiving dinner?! (bitten)

**Spoiler Alert** WWE Title match announced for Armageddon!! (wrestling)

The reason behind Bronx Mowgli Wentz's name

Pete Wentz chatted with Ryan Seacrest on his radio show about being a father and all that jazz, and then the topic of the baby's name came up. Pete told Ryan that not a lot of people get what the name means and that people don't really know the story of why or how it came about. He said that he and Ashlee really bonded over the Jungle Book movie, and had tossed the name back and forth for a while.

I have my own theory. Mowgli definitely came from the Jungle Book, which is reason enough to shoot them. But I bet the gave the baby the first name Bronx because that's where Pete knocked Ashlee up...in the Bronx. I'm a bonafide genius -- bow down.

Angelina Jolie is NOT pregnant

In celebration of Angelina Jolie not being knocked up, I decided to post a half-naked picture of her. Men and women alike enjoy...because let's be real, there's no one that doesn't want to do filthy things with Angie.

Seriously. Even her brother made out with her. Lucky bastard.

Carson Daly's gonna be a daddy

Carson Daly played the "let's bang my girlfriend without any condoms" game and knocked up his girlfriend Siri Pinter. It'll be Carson's first child.

Nah, in all seriousness, congratulations to Carson from the Dirt!

Katherine Heigl turns 30 and her co-star cheats on his wife?

Katherine Heigl went out for her 30th birthday party and was joined by her husband (obviously) Josh and her Grey's Anatomy co-star Justin Chambers (he plays Alex Karev, ya dummies.)

The one thing that's NOT known is who the mystery blonde with Justin is. What IS known is that it's not his wife and mother of his five kids. What a man-slut...high five.

Britney's kids have potty mouths

Britney makes her return to the cover of Rolling Stone for next month's issue (looking effing SEXY if I do say so myself), and talks about how her two kids are her main focus right now. She also talks about how 3-year-old Sean Preston and 2-year-old Jayden James have developed quite the potty mouth.

They're staring to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the F-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids.

Throwin' K-Fed right under the bus!! Atta girl!! Take that, Father of the Year!

Speidi didn't actually elope?!

Usually when you elope, you don't tell a soul about your plans and you get married on the DL. Down-low. Secret. NO ONE KNOWS. We reported a couple of days ago that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag eloped while they were in Cabo, which was what everyone thought. It turns out that Speidi tipped off Us Weekly magazine that the wedding was going to happen so they could grab shots of it!!

What a couple of uber-douches. P.S. You look like a kiddie-toucher with that beard, Spencer.

"Dirty Thoughts" with Josh Duhamel and Fergie

Fergie: "His ass better run or he ain't gettin my ass!"

Josh: "This blows. I just wanna get naked with her."

Puppy: "Both of you shut the f**k up, because I'm a dog and I can hear you."

Sarah Jessica Parker drops a little spoiler about Sex sequel?

I think Sarah Jessica Parker is out of her skull. First she denies that there's going to be a Sex and the City sequel that'll hit the big screen, and now she's not only confirming it, but possibly throwing out some spoilers about the flick. At the end of the first movie, Sarah's character Carrie Bradshaw marries her long-time interest Mr. Big. There's been rumors about whether or not she'll become pregnant and have a baby in the second film, but she tells us not to hold our breath.

It doesn't seem as if that's going to be a choice she'll make. I don't know. Michael and I never talk about it. That doesn't mean that won't be part of the story. We just haven't figured it out. It feels a little bit manipulative to toss that into the mix, because she seems so pointed in a different direction.

I've also heard ideas being thrown around that possibly one of the four main ladies will die, too, so everything really is up in the air.

Speaking of Dancing...

Big congratulations goes out to the Season 7 winner of Dancing with the Stars, Brooke Burke!! She ended the night last night with a perfect score of 30 on her final dance (that's three scores of 10 for all of you mathematical dummies) before she was announced as the winner with her partner, Derek Hough.

The big man, Warren Sapp, came in 2nd with his partner Kym Johnson, and Lance Bass brought up the rear (hahahahaha....pun not intended) with his partner Lacey Schwimmer (who is very hot.)

Joey Fatone poops on Lance Bass

Dancing with the Stars alum Joey Fatone actually took a huge verbal crap on Kim Kardashian and HIS OLD *NSYNC-MATE Lance Bass and trashed their dancing skills. He said that Lance needed to drink a couple of Red Bulls before doing the Jive.

My guess is it's just a buddy joking around about another buddy, but I'll die laughing if it's legit.

Britney Spears sick of her dad

It's not so much that Britney can't stand her dad, but she's just sick of him controlling everything of hers. It's done some good, but apparently he's cracking down more and won't even let her go out at night anymore. She's allowed to date though, but it has to be supervised.

Welcome back to the age of 12, Brit.

Martha Stewart still talks to her cellmates

Martha Stewart still talks to the women she became friends with while she was locked up. She says "there are some very interesting women there of great value to society," which is why she keeps in touch with them.

I think the ladies behind bars there can expect a cake baked by Martha...with tools to break out inside.

Everyone hates Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton was out at a friend's birthday and was booed like crazy by club-goers when her name was introduced. She apparently took it to heart, because she left the club almost in tears without taking the stage.

Just goes to show that money doesn't buy happiness, friends. Then again, it's really her own fault.

Emo rocker pair expecting child

Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance and Lindsay Ballato from Mindless Self Indulgence are expecting their first child together. The two rockers were married in September of 2007 and are expected to be parents in the beginning of the summer.

Congrats!!

Debra Messing sticks it to the tabloids

Debra Messing rocks the cover of Shape magazine for their December issue in a bikini and looks pretty damn good doing it. She said it's payback for all of the tabloids crapping on her for not dropping her baby weight instantly.

On one page it showed all the actresses who got skinny in six weeks or less, and on the other page was me! I was so depressed and frustrated. I couldn't work out three hours a day and do my job as a mother and an actress. So I took the pressure off: I cut back on seeing the trainer but started eating healthier. Ultimately I'm very proud of how I dropped the weight because I think it was the healthy approach. I've finally taken ownership of my body.

And if you aren't down with that, she's got two words for ya...

Lily Allen gets nekkid...and MORE!!!

The Pussycat Dolls host Slut Fest '08. (smack)

Beyonce gives Kanye a run for his money for the title of "What the f**k is that on their face? (candy)

I think Rihanna is hot, but what the hell was she wearing to the AMA's? (ayyyy)

Heidi Montag's daddydukes throwing Speidi a second wedding. (POTP)

Oh snap!! Benji Madden tells Paris to say the hell away!! How high school girl of him. (gabby)

Lily Allen strips! At the airport! For security!! (bitten)

Ashley Dupre says she's not a slut, but we know better. (yuddy)

Slammy Awards returning in 2 weeks!! (wrestling)

Is No Doubt back? No doubt.

Yay to me for coming up with the corniest title to this post ever! You can't see it, but I'm taking a bow right now. Anyway...No Doubt is back and in full effect. They've been hitting the studio here and there throughout the year, but Gwen Stefani has been limited since she gave birth to her second baby over the summer. But the crew is JACKED to get back on tour and write some new material, especially Gwen.

I think we should go out now. I don't think we should wait. Pack up the babies and get a bunch of nannies. So fun! Would be so inspiring to get out there and play all those songs again.

Guitarist Tom Dumont is on the same page too, saying he has cabin fever and thinks the group should play some shows very soon. And I agree -- No Doubt is sick, hands down. That's one reunion I'd actually go see.

Amy Winehouse dumps her husband!!!

Holy shizzle!! Amy Winehouse's cracked out ass actually made a good decision for once in her lifetime!! She dropped her husband Blake Fielder-Civil and said that it was never going to last and they were only together for the sex, which apparently included a sh*t ton of threesomes.

Could we see the return of the old Amy Winehouse?!

Miley Cyrus turning country?

With so many artists switching genres already (Jessica Simpson from pop to country, Taylor Swift is rumored to switch from country to pop) it's no wonder that Miley Cyrus wants to join the movement and Jessica in hopping from pop to country. She obviously has the country roots from her father, and she said she'd actually love to work with her godmother.

I would love to work with Dolly Parton. If I get to go back to Nashville, I would love to work with her again. She's just fabulous. She's always so done-up. I think that would be fun to work with someone as legendary as she is.

So if Miley does end up going country and follows in Dolly's footsteps, expect her to have Double D boobs in 2 years.

"My Name is Earl" star ties the knot!

And it's NOT Jaime Pressly, so I still have a chance!! Huge congrats goes out to Jason Lee and his girlfriend Ceren Alkac on marrying back in July. It was kept very underwraps and the info was finally just released. The newlyweds have a 3-month-old daughter whose name is unknown (not just by us, but the world).

Scary moment on the "30 Rock" set

Some scary stuff went down on the set of 30 Rock the other day when a cab actually crashed right onto the set of the show, closing down production for the day. Apparently some actors were actually grazed a bit by the cab, and a 9-year-old actor had to jump out of the way to avoid being hit.

All cabbies suck except for 2 of them. Big Tom and Little Tom from Somerville, MA.

Linda Hogan is a gold digger

Linda Hogan is begging Hulk Hogan for more money, saying that she's broke. Now before any man-haters accuse the Hulkster of being a deadbeat, he gives that broad $40,000 A MONTH in alimony. How in the blue f**k are you broke when you have a guaranteed 40k a month?! Get your fat ass off the beach and to a job, then maybe you'll have some more money.

Clearly I'm not a big fan of Linda Hogan. Actually, I'm not a big fan of any of them.

"Top Chef" host a Foo Fighters fan!

Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi rocked out on stage with Dave Grohl and the fellas of the Foo Fighters during a recent show, then hung out with the group backstage. On a random note that's insanely funny, drummer Taylor Hawkins tried getting her number, but was shot down like a plate of spaghetti topped with buffalo chicken.

Mmmm...buffalo chicken.

Lindsay Lohan sticks up over her father?!

I swear that the Holidays make celebs do the opposite of what they've talked about for a while. Alongside Hayden Panettiere pulling a total 180 and wanting to live with her boyfriend now, Lindsay Lohan is actually sticking up for her father Michael! She said he's not that bad of a guy, he just makes really bad decisions.

This being said from a girl who's down blow more time than Paris Hilton has blown...

I'm convinced Billy Ray Cyrus is a brainless horse

Yes, a horse. Why? Because it sounded like a good insult. Billy Ray Cyrus was getting a tattoo on Friday and brought Miley and Justin Gaston along to watch, but the only thing they ended up watching was their tongues going in each other's mouths. They paid no attention to Billy Ray and ended up just making out the entire time.

Seriously, at what point as a father do you watch some 20-year-old underwear model shove his tongue down your barely 16-year-old daughter's throat before you snap his neck? Lately, Billy Ray has defined exactly what a redneck idiot is.

Hayden Panettiere ready for the next step with Milo

Hayden Panettiere just opened her purse up a bit and bought herself a $2.6 million home in Hollywood, and has actually asked her boyfriend, Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia, to move in with her.

I really wonder what made her change her mind, because before it seemed like she was freaked out that Milo was moving too fast. Now she's asking him to move in with her? It's a sad, sad day in Man-land.

A-Rod pulling away from Madonna?

New York Yankees' shortstop Alex Rodriguez has cancelled all of his scheduled Kabbalah classes, fueling rumors that he's either not involved with Madonna anymore or trying to pull away. It hasn't really seemed to slow Madonna down much though, as she's super busy trying to recruit her make-out buddy Britney Spears to join the religion, which she actually left in 2006.

I feel like if I were a girl, I'd personally find Madonna and make the gap in her two front teeth even wider.

Evan Rachel Wood already moves on from Marilyn Manson?

Joseph Gordon Levitt hasn't really been regularly seen since his days on 3rd Rock from the Sun, but he's back in the headlines now, which might not be a good thing. Sources say he was flirting with a drunken, wild-dancing Evan Rachel Wood, fresh off her break-up with Marilyn Manson. We'll keep our eye on these two, but if I were Joseph I'd watch my back. I wouldn't exactly want to piss off Marilyn Manson, if ya smell what The Jaddster is cookin'.

Michelle Williams is still a sad panda

Michelle Williams is still really broken up about the death of her ex and daughter's father, Heath Ledger. She's said that she's having an insanely tough time with it.

The more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse.

You really gotta feel for the girl. Her and Heath were a great tag team of parents to Matilda, and you never really heard about any drama between them.

Are Brangelina parents of the year?

Apparently Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the best parents ever. While most people go on vacation in the Bahamas and just chill out, booze up, and get their tan on, Brangelina actually spent a lot of time with their kids. They were spotted doing arts and crafts projects and playing on the playground with them.

And somewhere, Jennifer Aniston was kicking back in her bikini, sipping on Bahama Mama's, and thinking to herself, "What a couple of clowns."

Katie Holmes patience may have just run out

The only way to describe Katie Holmes love for Tom Cruise is a boatload of patience. Really. You have to be uber patient to deal with someone as bat sh*t crazy as Tom, let alone be married to him, but Katie is running out of patience. Sources say she's getting pretty annoyed with Tom's schedule and always having to fly coast-to-coast to see him.

You know that person who eventually shoots a bunch of people because they hate their life or something with it goes wrong? That's Tom Cruise if Katie ever leaves him.

Heidi and Spencer Marry and Shockingly...

didn't tell the whole world first to make it an amazing photo op! WTF?

Pratt and Montag wed at the One & Only Palmilla Resort, just outside Cabo San Lucas in Mexico. The ceremony was held on the beach and was supposedly spontaneous..

There were no guests present either.. don't you need a witness or something? haha

Here are the rumored cheesy vows Spencer "spontaneously" had ready to say

Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I'm honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.

BARF haha

Jessica Biel has junk in the trunk...and MORE!!!

Goodbye Tila Tequila, hello hot bisexual twins. (smack)

Why all men should want to hook up with Melanie Griffith: no teeth = no pain. (candy)

Kid Rock has officially turned into my 79-year-old grandfather. (ayyyy)

Just call her J-ASS-ica Biel. (POTP)

Lindsay Lohan is turning over a new leaf. (gabby)

Peep the red carpet pics from the American Music Awards last night! (bitten)

Badass Travis Barker is back. He's suing over the plane crash!! (yuddy)

Stories about Jeff Hardy being found unconscious in hotel room FALSE?! (wrestling)

Pink and Carey Hart still married?

Pink was on Ellen this morning and mentioned that mentioned that she's still legally married to Carey Hart (after Ellen asked if she thought they'd ever end up getting back together, mind you.)

I actually found out we're still married the other day. Apparently, you have to sign a piece of paper or something.

You don't say.

Leo DiCaprio has a leading lady?

Leonardo DiCaprio was seen getting REAL friendly with Kate Bosworth over the weekend at Bardot in Hollywood. Sources at the club said they were acting like no one else was there.

Could Leo be opening up to a relationship after all? He picked a hot ass broad to do it with...good for him!

Madonna seen with her ex

No, she's not playing nice with Guy Ritchie (although he is officially her ex now after she was granted a preliminary divorce in a whopping 60 seconds), but Madonna was seen out with another ex having drinks over the weekend -- Sean Penn!!

That old, wrinkly hussy. First she's being the holder of A-Rod's bat (yes, I meant it the way it sounds), and now she's having drinks with her ex-husband? Well, like they say...tequila makes her clothes fall off.

Is Abbie Cornish preggo?

Pregnancy rumors fueled up for Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish after they were seen together buying bibs and throw up rags over the weekend, but if you want my guess (and I know you do), I don't think Abbie is knocked up. They might just be shopping for a friend who is pregnant or something.

I mean, when my brother was a newborn, I used to buy TONS of baby clothes. Didn't mean I planted a seed in someone, ya know? (At least I hope I haven't.)

Carrie Fisher reveals awkward proposal

I'm not really going to make this a long story or make a comment on it, because this seriously grosses me out. Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies, reveals in her new book Wishful Drinking, that her mother (famous actress Debbie Reynolds) suggested that Carrie have a baby with her stepfather. Yeah, that would mean Debbie told her daughter to bang her new husband.

Ew. No wonder Carrie ended up with so many problems later on in life.

Speaking of the American Music Awards...

Chris Brown was the big winner of the night at the AMA's, walking away with 3 awards: Artist of the Year, Favorite Male Pop Artist, and Favorite Male R&B Artist. Check out the full winners list right here!

Kanye West is a little nuts

I'm not saying he was, but there's a good chance that Kanye West was on some serious crack last night at the American Music Awards. He won for Favorite Male Artist and Favorite Rap Album, and during one of his acceptance speeches, ended up saying he wanted to be Elvis and gave his award away to Lil' Wayne. Check out the video here.

And kids, stay off drugs. There's no hope with dope.

Rosie O'Donnell reacts to Barbara Walters comments

Rosie O'Donnell made a video blog responding to comments made by Barbara Walters on their strained relationship. Barbara never actually names Rosie, but it's pretty obvious who she's talking about. The sick part about Rosie's video is that it's pretty much just her watching the interview and reacting to it. Check it out!

ABC says, "Happy Thanksgiving! You're cancelled!"

ABC slashed 3 shows over the weekend: Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone, and Pushing Daisies, which is a little weird since Daisies won 3 Emmys, but hey, I don't make the rules. The exec for Daisies, Bryan Fuller, said they gave it their best shot and the remaining episodes that have already been shot will probably air.

Why do people feel the need to cut people around the holidays? I swear, it happens all over the place. Douchebags.

Jodie Sweetin files for divorce

Full House alum Jodie Sweetin filed for divorce from her husband Cody Herpin (hahaha his last name is almost Herpes...skank), going with the ole Hollywood go-to reasoning of "irreconcilable differences." Normally I'd feel the need to make fun of someone (and I guess I already did because of Cody's last name), but I actually feel bad for the fella. He really has no clue why Jodie filed.

Not knowing what's going on is hard. It's tough. Marriage is not taken lightly to me. It's supposed to be forever.

So Jodie filed for divorce for basically no real reason? HOW RUDE!

And as far as this week's In Touch cover?

Even more reason to think there's trouble in paradise. You had to think it'd happen sometime soon, though. I mean, there's only so many kids you can adopt and give birth to before it causes some serious stress on a relationship. Unless you're Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Brad apologizes to Jen?

We got our hands on the In Touch Weekly mag cover that's not supposed to come out until next week. Hmmm...first Brad gets mad at Jen, now he's apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Trouble in Brangelina paradise?

Tobey Maguire to be a dad again

Congrats to Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer, who announced they were expecting their second child in the spring of 09!

For the record, I tried to get crafty and somehow work this announcement in as a Spiderman angle and include the term "shot his web," but I couldn't work it in (Pun intended, because I'm clever.)

Did Jessica Make the Same Mistake Twice?

After getting a horrible lip injection when she was going through her divorce, Jessica Simpson swore off plumping her lips.. but I can't help but wonder if she decided to give it another go round... what do you think? Her lips are plentiful enough.. so when she gets em done, they just get huge.. I don't know.. are they freshly injected or is she just pursing her lips weird?