Celebrity Dirt -- Jennifer Lopez will have a silent birth

Britney's Now Using Body Doubles

Yesterday was the shoot for Britney's latest song "Piece of Me" .. Well her dancers were not happy with her- She showed up TWELVE hours late! She had four body doubles for the body shots, as they walked in they had to wear trenchcoats with sunglasses and hats so the photogs couldn't tell who the real Britney was. Any scene that required her body to she shown, a double was called in.

Best Late Night Music Performance Ever -- Mutemath "Typical" on Kimmel BACKWARDS

So yeah. Writer's strike. Blah blah. Reruns. Blah blah.
Jimmy Kimmel had the best musical performance I've ever seen a couple months ago, so keep on striking hacks! I'm glad I got a second chance to see this.

Mutemath did their song "Typical" BACKWARDS in front of the audience. The lead dude lip synced it with Milli Vanilli precision (pre CD skip fiasco). Then they aired it backwards so it looked forward. Just watch the video! It's worth it... and it'll make sense.

Frickin' cool.

Luciana Salazar Sex Tape

She's a 27 year-old world famous Argentine glamour model, she started her career at the age of 4, and now she's naked and hardcore.

I've heard the sex tape is very, very extreme. If I were her I'd take it a little easier while having sex. There's a lot of plastic parts that could malfunction.

And while I'm not ballsy enough to post the video on this site, here's a link for all you hogs: LUCIANA SALAZAR SEX TAPE

Britney Spears "Gimme More" mashed with Kelly "Shoes" -- Appropriately titled "Gimme More Shoes"

Best... Mashup... Ever...



And for the 4 people who haven't seen Kelly's "Shoes" video yet:

Is Britney Spears pregnant again????

Damn. She pops 'em out more than a cat in heat.
Star Magazine is claiming they interviewed Britney and she said there's another bun in the oven. [In Touch is obviously reporting it too - see visual aid]

Find out more after this side thought:

Britney Spears has a 2 floor "Fantasy Room" where she does all her sex-havin'.
The room has ticklers, whips, mirrored ceilings, and lots of outfits for Brit to dress up in. Like schoolgirl (can't let go of her "Baby One More Time" days), maid, and nun (ewww!). Something tells me the floors in there are grosser than a cheap hotel room.

Back to the baby rumor --- SQUASHED! She texted Ryan Seacrest this morning and said her belly is baby free (for once)!

X-Tina shows the baby belly on the cover of Marie Claire

Wow. Well there you go. She really IS quite, very pregnant.
And sideboob rules... but pregnant inner-boob kind of scares me.

But it's still a boob, therefore it's cool.

Kevin Federline Is One Of the Top 10 Most Influential Men In the WORLD!!!

Dr. Jan Adams walks out on Larry King interview on LIVE TV!

He was scheduled for a "world exclusive" interview with Larry King about everything that went down with Kanye West's mother and he walked out on live TV. For more on what happened (20 minutes before this post), check out the Celebrity Dirt podcast below. (And subscribe!)


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Celebrity Dirt -- Paris Hilton is bringing her diseased va-jay-jay East!

First Pictures from Nicole Richie's "Wizard Of Oz" Themed Baby Shower

At the risk of sounding uber-gay... HOW CUTE!

Celebrity Apprentice coming soon -- but where are the celebrities??? (See the cast.)

Donald Trump's "The Apprentice" is coming back. And this time it's "Celebrity Apprentice!" I was kind of looking forward to this a wee-bit. And then I saw the cast:

Trace Adkins (country music singer)
Carol Alt (model/actress)
Stephen Baldwin (actor, The Usual Suspects)
Nadia Comaneci (Olympic gold-medal gymnast)
Tiffany Fallon (2005 Playboy Playmate of the Year)
Jennie Finch (Olympic gold-medal softball player)
Nely Galan (producer, Telemundo)
Marilu Henner (actress, Taxi)
Lennox Lewis (former heavyweight champion)
Piers Morgan (judge, America's Got Talent)
Omarosa (Apprentice Season 1 contestant)
Tito Ortiz (UFC champion)
Vincent Pastore (actor, The Sopranos)
Gene Simmons (KISS frontman)

I honestly have heard of only 6 of the 14 "celebrities." And one of them is Omarosa. Only famous for "The Apprentice." I think Carol Alt told me to "please pay at the first window" the other day.

I think I'M gonna start writing TV shows for free so this crap doesn't make it to the air. OK. I'm gonna Tivo this. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a sucker for sucky TV.

Best show on TV right now, by the way: "Kitchen Nightmares" Wednesday night at 9pm on Fox.

That probably put my taste into perspective for ya.

Where are they now: Bill Nye "The Science Guy"

You know where Bill Nye is nowadays??? Somewhere at a distance of at least 500 feet from his ex-fiancee. Here's the restraining order he filled out the other day.

Must be hard being a woman-magnet-one-time-a-little-bit-famous-scientist-geek.



It seems his crazy ex showed up at his house and tried to pour poison all over his garden to kill him. Oh those silly childrens tv hosts and their wacky psychopathic lives! Fun!

Jonas Brothers On-Stage Blooper from the AMA's Sunday Night

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! One of the three "leaders of the Jonas cult" took a little tumble at the AMA's last night. I'm sure one of his teenage female minion members will nurse him to health. Catchy song too.

Spongebob Scores BIG Ratings

Remember when Spongebob was the frizz? It was monstrously huuuge. Everybody loved it. 4 year-olds. 23 year-old stoners. 79 year-olds with dementia. Cats. I thought those days were done. Little did I know it's still the frizz.

[Psst. I just made up that word for this post.]

Spongebob's new made-for-TV movie aired Monday night on Nickelodean and 9 million people watched it. That's 8 times the population of Rhode Island. Sure Rhode Island is pretty much a really large town, but whatever. That's still a lot of people watching a cartoon.

Here's where it gets awesome:

The movie led Nickelodean into it's highest ratings of the year amongst children 2-11 and kids 6-11.

Read that last sentence again.

Do you realize that there's a board room of suits having deep philosophical discussions on how to tap the prestigious 4-6 year old market. Damn. Laffy Taffy and pink shoelace companies must be psyched.

And sorry "Naked Brothers Band." You're no longer the cornerstone of Nick's forward charge. It's all about the sponge. Now only if Britney Spears could learn that same lesson.

What does Soulja Boy do in his spare time? He has his friends video tape him pee'ing! Duh!!!

I guess we know one rapper who doesn't wash his hands after urinating. Tsk. Tsk.
He needs to concentrate less on "supermaning the hoes" and a little more on "washing up after flows."

Paris Hilton says "Save the Drunk Elephants!"

The elephant story ended up being a hoax. But for 12 hours it was the best celebrity story of the year.

Vom Alert: Sharon Stone's Camel Toe

She's been working on that thing for nearly 50 years. Ew.
Maybe she just didn't want to carry a purse. But if she takes too big of strides, her car keys may fall out.

Hasselbeck has a boy!

"The View's" Elizabeth Hasselbeck and her husband (and Michael Bolton tribute show singer) Tim welcomed a 7 pound 5 ounce baby boy Friday in Arizona. The name has yet to be announced.

I bet she's a wicked bitchy mom. Congrats!!!











UPDATE: The baby's name is "Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck." Jonathan must be so proud.

Don't Believe TMZ says OK! Mag: Britney DIDN'T fail her drug test!

TMZ is reporting (and now the world believes) that Britney failed a random drug test - and that there were illegal drugs in her system.

OK! Magazine is saying "not so!"

They have a sourse that says Britney tested positive for Provigil (seen here popping it's head out of Britney's pretty pink purse).

Provigil was prescribed by the courts to treat Britney's cocaine withdrawl.

OK's moley-mole-mole says:

If she had tested positive, she wouldn’t be with the boys right now. There are no illegal drugs in her system.

Someone is making shit up. This case is sealed and no one has access to the results at all.

BIG Changes To "American Idol" Coming This Season

THREE CHANGES THIS SEASON(and my editorial opinions on each):

1) Contestants will be able to use instruments in the Hollywood auditions.
[POSITIVE -- Simon Cowell's human insults have been growing tired. Now he can insult inanimate objects. Yay.]

2) Less "celebrity mentors" this season.
[NEUTRAL -- I liked watching stars watch in horror as crappy contestants butchered their classics. But we won't get slammed over the head with album plugs every week.]

3) "American Idol" will be going on tour with "So You Think You Can Dance" for a concert mega-crap-fest after the seasons end.
[I think I just pooped my pants in happy anticipation. Ugh.]

Brad Pitt: Pringles Spokesperson

Happy 6 month anniversary Brittany Murphy and old creepy guy!

Thank God for this guy! He gives hope to every man that majored in Woodshop in college.

They just celebrated their six month anniversary of being married.

At least she doesn't have to worry about him being faithful. Or ever having to do math again.

He must have large manhood.

The Wonders of Photoshop

BEFORE

AFTER
This picture just leaked from the photo shoot Britney had a OK! Magazine a couple of months ago. OK! said if the pictures ever came out Britney would be embarrassed! I don't know if it's just me but this is a heck of a lot better then the ones of her sucking down Starbucks with her weave half grown out shopping for chandeliers. But.. they are more fun to look at =)

Dads Gone WILD!!

Don't you hate when your parents embarass you? Well poor Vanessa Hudgens.. She went to the gym with her father yesterday afternoon and some photogs got a little too close for the likings of her Daddy.. so he attacked!



... with his water bottle.. He just splashed one of the photogs. He's a bit scary.. but water?

STEP IT UP POPS!

Celebrity Dirt -- Amy Winehouse gets raided by the cops!

Britney Spears has missed 57% of her drug tests so far!!!

Britney and K-Fed's lawyers met up in court today to discuss why Britney has missed 8 of 14 drug tests she was supposed to take so far. Britney's lawyer argues that it's "unconstitutional" to give Britney one hours notice 'til she has to take a random drug test. Here's an awesome direct quote from the lawyer:

“Is the issue that Britney Spears needs to get up at 8:30 a.m. and answer the phone?” she went on.“She’s a pop star with a No. 1 album. She is not up that early.”[Spears’ album was actually No. 2 on Billboard’s Top 200.]

Seriously. Let's cut her some slack. It's hard to get the motivation to make it to a drug test after a handful of bong hits.

VIDEO: J-Lo Officially Announces Pregnancy Last Night In Miami!

As if the fetal head hanging out of her vaginal cavity wasn't proof enough, here's the official announcement from Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony at the final show of their tour last night in Miami. I think the girl video taping was pretty excited about it.

Brit Brit Gets Stuck With K-Fed's BILLS!

Britney was ordered to pay Kevin's legal fees immediately in the amount of $120,000 !! More fees are to come..

Brit Brit is reported to make a total of $737,000 a month -- while Kevin brought home $7,436 after business expenses in 2006.

Kevin is also bringing Britney back on another matter..he is claiming that Britney is violating the court’s drug testing order by not making herself available in a timely fashion when she is called for random tests. Kevin is hoping that Brit's visitation will become even more limited after this case..

Is this ever going to end? Poor kids..

Neverland.. IN FORECLOSURE?!

Jacko's famous mansion Neverland is going into foreclosure! If he cannot pay $212,963 within 30 days- the kiddy magnet goes to the bank! So if anyone is in a new house in Santa Maria.. start saving your pennies! ... Jacko's current loan is for 23 million dollars!

Jessica Simpson wants a BOSTON boy!

Jessica Simpson tells Extra that she wants a boy from Boston:

"I think Boston has cute boys. I need a Boston man. A Boston man is closest to a Southern man, I believe."

Specifically, she says, it's "just their loyalty" that reminds her of Southern gentlemen.

Also because she probably thinks Boston is the capital of Texas.

Funniest Bar Brawl Ever: George Clooney versus FABIO!

George Clooney was at a bar last weekend. Just chillin... throwing back a few beers. When suddenly into the same bar arrives - Fabio, his hair, and a bunch of friends.

Clooney didn't realize who it was and kept drinking. Some of the girls with Fabio started taking "I'm at a bar being silly" pictures of each other. George Clooney thought they were taking HIS picture and asked them to "cut it out."

The girls explained that they weren't taking his picture. Could've ended there simple enough. But then Fabio stepped in yelling at Clooney to "stop acting like a diva." This pissed George off. He got off his bar stool and into Fabio's face. The two started shoving each other like the girls that they are until security came and split the two up.

Fabio reportedly got into a second altercation later in the night with a waiter when he couldn't believe the margarine on his roll wasn't butter.

So who would win in a steel cage death match -- Fabio or George Clooney???

I go with Fabio. He sometimes wears a loin cloth. That's tough. And kind of gay.
Pick your winner in a comment.

Vince Vaughn is blowing up like a deer tick in Montana

Is he retaining water? If so, let's tap his face and fight wildfires.

This is a picture of Vince from the premiere of his new movie "Fred Clause." Maybe he's been munching on a few too many holiday sugar cookies in anticipation of the release.

But then again I should cut him some slack. Poor guy has "Fred Clause" coming out.

Even Stevens' Star... BUSTED!

Last Sunday Shia LaBeouf was busted for trespassing at a Walgreens in Chicago early Sunday morning. Shia was arrested around 2:30 AM after a security guard repeatedly told LaBeouf to leave -- because the 21-year-old appeared drunk, police said. He was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing and released a few hours later.

Shia played the little brother on Even Stevens and had a star role in the movies; Disturbia and The Transformers.

Shia is due back in court November 23rd.

Hell yaaa! Paartaaay at your local Walgreens, It's the PLACE TO BE!!

Nice Hair..

Do you think Tom Cruise and his Mother go to the same hairstylist? You think with the money Tom makes he could buy his Mom new teeth.. she kind of looks like a horse..

Who Would You Rather?

Who would you rather; Ms Britney Spears or Kevin Federline's rumored new girlfriend? Her name is Nicole Narain.. She was Playboy Playmate of the Year in 2002. She was also with Collin Farrell and allegedly made a sex tape with him but was sued to stop distribution of the tape.

Video Proof that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have already spawned a SECOND offspring!!!

The world will soon be talking about it. So watch!!!

Fug-Nasty Outfit of the Day: Beyonce

Nope. She didn't dress up as a stained glass window for Halloween. This is actually part of her wardrobe, which in turn should be burned with fire.

Even Jessica Simpson is doing that damn Soulja Boy dance!

OK. Maybe she's just a klutz.

Check out the girl behind her, snickering at her.
"Superman that hoooooo!"

Wait... wait, what??!

This will show you how old our readers are... Anyone watch "Blossom" back in the day? Remember "Six", Blossom's constantly-hat-wearing pal? Yea, well it's been a good um-teen years since that artistic tour de force was on the airwaves, and if you were wondering what Jenna von Oy has been doing, she recently released a country* album. (I use an asterisk because you should probably judge how "country" it actually is.) I just sampled a good chunk of this album, and then watched a few good chunks of my lunch follow right behind. Take a listen here, and let me know what you think...

File under, "Whoa!"
-kk

Oh, and also, what the heck year is this?! Today, both Ricky Martin & the Spice Girls are releasing new music. Party like it's 1997! Whooo!!!

Jerry Seinfeld eats Larry King on live TV.

Watching broadcasters getting beat up on the air is awesome... especially when it's not me. And listen for the cocky celebrity staple "don't you know who I am?" These live TV moments are the best reason to watch Larry King. That and for close-ups of his liver spots. Try and count 'em all!

Wow. At first I was upset about this, but then I realized that little white kids in ballet class is the exact demographic "Soulja Boy" was going for when he penned his insta-classic song. Wow.

Jive Does Not Trust Britney

Britney Spears' record label Jive Records has now officially given up on Britney promoting her new record. They have decided to scrap the idea of a tour for this new CD. Can you imagine Britney going on tour now? Do you think anyone would go? I think people would go just to make fun of her- I would.

Oh, and by the way Britney officially lost custody of her kids.. Britney will have three visits a week-- two days from 12pm to 7pm and one overnight visit and all of the visits will have a parenting coach present. She also needs to have a drug test twice a week, and a missed one is a failed one..

PS-- What do you think of her Halloween costume?

The Dangers of Stalking Celebs

The Dangers of Stalking Celebs!

Were you thinking of becoming a photog? Well maybe this will change your mind!

Lindsay has been trying to keep away from the photogs lately, and Wednesday afternoon she got surrounded by a good amount of them... Well minutes later her bodyguard came and it got a bit chaotic.. Lindsay gets kicked by a photog and then he gets kicked back.. IN THE BALLS!

Do you think the bodyguard took it too far? Or did he have every right?

Celebrity Dirt Podcast -- A Telephone Discussion of the new Ashley Olsen & Lance Armstrong Romance

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Hit play to listen to today's "Celebrity Dirt Podcast" - a discussion about the oddest celebrity couple to come around in a while. I bet she's just attracted to his testicle. And subscribe!