An Open Letter to TMZ.com

(Forgive me, as I have no time to actually type this right now)

Dear TMZ,
I mean this with the utmost sincerity. Get a f*cking life. Today, October the 11th, 2007, in the 20 hours that have passed, you've posted 49 stories on your webpage, and 19 of them, (as of 6:38PM, EST) involve Britney Spears. You've posted such thrilling and imaginative titles as "Britney Leaves Courtroom - Visibly Upset", and "Brit Walks Into Court", and who could forget the amazing wordplay of "Brit to Commish - Howdy!". Get a f*cking life. Your writers are boring, and repetitive, your subject matter is stale and your content and imagery border on invasion of privacy. Have you ever wondered why some people like Britney Spears are so "crazy", and get into mishaps like accidents and "fender benders"? Ever consider the fact that close to 50 flashes from various Nikon, Canon, and Sony DSLR are blazing little white dots into the eyes of the drivers? Moreover, no one wants to read your repetitive banter about the same people over and over again, so please change direction. I firmly believe that your days of terrorizing "celebrities" are coming to an end because much like the people you prey upon, you're becoming boring and part of the norm that make up our culture. It's most likely going to take a Princess Diana-esque situation to get this era of super-saturated over with, and I pray that it's not one of the people who work for your company, but do me a favor, and reinvent yourself. And do it soon. I would like to think that we here at Dirtydirtdirt.com are trying to reverse the trend of only slandering the popular, but I would be more than happy to hand the reigns off to a larger and more successful outfit like yours, as the example in the environment. The choice is yours.
Sincerely,

kAEdo-k.