When Celebrities Dress Up 2:

Teri Hatcher: Queen Of Hearts or Over the Hill Drag Queen???
(the paparazzi need to soften their focus --- please?)

Mariah Carey Smells Like Toasted Marshmallows

Mariah Carey has come out with a new fragrance ever-so-creatively called "M." And don't bitch me out that I'm not refering to her as "Mimi." She ain't no friend of mine. I'm not even posh enough to be hired as her personally toilet paper crumpler.

Her new fragrance has the scent of... toasted marshmallows. Mariah says she was never too keen on wearing perfume so she went the route of "reminding her of childhood days around the campfire."

Man. If my significant other wore a couple dabs of this I just might try to eat her arms.

PS -- Anybody else think Mariah has resembled that giant marshmallow monster from "Ghostbusters" lately? Hmmm...

When Celebrities Dress Up:

Is Ronald McDonald picking up a couple shifts at the slaughter house?

No. It's Doogie Howser MD dressing up for Halloween.

Hahaha that Neil Patrick Harris. What a funny guy! (Sleep with your eyes open if you're ever in his presence. He will eat your spleen.)

Heidi Klum Loves Seal's Huge Penis

I always wondered what Heidi Klum saw in her husband, and "Kiss From A Rose" songster (gag!), Seal. I thought it was cause 'chicks dig scars.' But I should have known. It was his humongous mass of manhood.

She let this tidbit of info out recently on The Oprah Winfrey Show of all places. Here's the direct quote:

"I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow. And I pretty much saw everything. The whole package." Ew.

All of Oprah's Mah Jong-loving audience was shocked and awed. BUT -- Heidi Klum is totally happy with her Oprah appearance and doesn't regret talking about her husbands joy stick with middle-age America:

"I was very happy with how things went on Oprah. It is very strange, you trust her so much that you talk sometimes without realizing what you are saying. She (Winfrey) has a spell in her eyeballs that when she looks at you, you are like 'Yes.'"

I knew I'd never have a shot with someone like Heidi Klum.

Anyone In The Market For A Dirty Sock?

As you may, or may not have heard last week Britney Spears ran over a photog's foot with her Benz.. Well, the photog thought it would be a good idea to put his sock on eBay and give the profit to charity! Well believe it or not.. some one actually bought it!! FOR $585!!!! I can think of alot of things I could spend $585 on, and it does not include some Photog's crusty tire tracked sock..


And in other news, I mentioned in a previous post Lindsay's Mother is making a reality show on empowering mothers on being successful single mothers.. ya right. WELL, Britney Spears mom joined in... She is currently writing a book on parenting. I feel bad for the children of the future.

Dina Lohan's Reality Show- How To Be A Good Mom?

Lindsay Lohan's Mom- Dina will begin taping a new reality show for E! on Oct 30 --- Now here is the IRONIC part, Dina says she is taping the show to empower women to be successful single mothers without compromising motherhood.. WHAT?

Am I mistaken or wasn't it her daughter who in just this past year; got stopped for a DUI, got caught with Cocaine, had multiple stays at a rehab, and just recently FIRED her mother as her manager? After all this Dina will be trying to empower women to be successful single Moms? What do you think about that?

What Would Justin Think?

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel hit a Packers/Bears game the other weekend. It seems as though they were having a wonderful time tailgating with fans, but it is during the game that things change.. What is this guy doing grabbing Jessica's ASS?! Do you think it is just innocent or something for JT to worry about?

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well - since mtv did just give them the best break-out artist of 2007 award - what better way to celebrate it by listening to my interview with them again! just click on the kiss logo and listen up!!

Celebrity Dirt -- Maria Osmond's Big Faint On Live TV

Wear a bra around your kids while walking them in public!!!

Come on Posh!!! "Scratch and Sniff Boobs" aren't allowed while holding your kid's hand walking around in public!

It looks incestual or just wrong! Wear a bra!

Not that I mind nipples.

I just don't wanna see kid hands while I see them.

It makes me feel like Mr. Rogers or something. His sweaters were rad.

Rehab Makes You Fat

Or at least it makes Pete Doherty fat.

Before rehab... Michael Jackson circa "Smooth Criminal." After rehab... extra actor circa "Soprano's Season 3."

By the way screw the South Beach Diet, The Power of 5 Diet, and not eating. Try the cigarette smoking, booze swilling, coke snorting, heroin shooting, gasoline huffing, hold your breath 'til you get a buzz-uh-ing Pete Doherty diet.

Now he and Kate Moss look like the number 10 while walking down the street... or 01. But who ever writes "01?" Unless they're one of those "I was born on oh one, oh seven, eighty-six" type people. NO! You were born on "one, seven, eighty-six" damn you!

Sorry. Pet peeve.

Celebrity Dirt -- Britney Update #26714-238 & The View girls drop an F-bomb on CBS

People Getting Punched Just Before Eating

Here's one of the two highlights from this past Saturday Night's "SNL." Honestly I didn't waste my time watching the show since lately I'd rather watch Bea Arthur sex tapes, but I'm guessing this and the Foo Fighters performance were the 2 highlights and that's all. Anyway -- this is straight up classic. "Full Recovery" = sweet.

Lindsay is Po': the artwork.

Brilliant! Art by "Pretty On the Outside."

Lindsay spent all her money on booze and nostril dust. And on rehab (3 rounds) and hotels... and FAKE TANNING!

She spent $70,000 on hairstyling and fake tanning. I could have given her the same results using an orange magic marker.

Clay On Broadway. Hooray.

She's joined the cast of "Monty Python's Spamalot."

And I'm still waiting for Clay to find her true calling in life, traveling the world as the awesomest KD Lang impersonator ever.

Jingle Ball 2007

Yooooo!
So to our readers (and trollers) from Boston:
Matty is announcing the line-up for KISS 108's Jingle Ball 2007 (where I work at night). Here's my predictions for a line-up. And no... I have no clue who's coming... I haven't even heard rumors!!! So read mine, then comment and leave yours!


Rihanna
Maroon 5
Kat Deluna
Fergie
Pink
Good Charlotte
Jordan Sparks

What do YOU think???

errr'one loves a fat kid

so yeah maybe i do need rachel zoe's help - this was totally me when i was ten!!!

An Open Letter to TMZ.com

(Forgive me, as I have no time to actually type this right now)

Dear TMZ,
I mean this with the utmost sincerity. Get a f*cking life. Today, October the 11th, 2007, in the 20 hours that have passed, you've posted 49 stories on your webpage, and 19 of them, (as of 6:38PM, EST) involve Britney Spears. You've posted such thrilling and imaginative titles as "Britney Leaves Courtroom - Visibly Upset", and "Brit Walks Into Court", and who could forget the amazing wordplay of "Brit to Commish - Howdy!". Get a f*cking life. Your writers are boring, and repetitive, your subject matter is stale and your content and imagery border on invasion of privacy. Have you ever wondered why some people like Britney Spears are so "crazy", and get into mishaps like accidents and "fender benders"? Ever consider the fact that close to 50 flashes from various Nikon, Canon, and Sony DSLR are blazing little white dots into the eyes of the drivers? Moreover, no one wants to read your repetitive banter about the same people over and over again, so please change direction. I firmly believe that your days of terrorizing "celebrities" are coming to an end because much like the people you prey upon, you're becoming boring and part of the norm that make up our culture. It's most likely going to take a Princess Diana-esque situation to get this era of super-saturated over with, and I pray that it's not one of the people who work for your company, but do me a favor, and reinvent yourself. And do it soon. I would like to think that we here at Dirtydirtdirt.com are trying to reverse the trend of only slandering the popular, but I would be more than happy to hand the reigns off to a larger and more successful outfit like yours, as the example in the environment. The choice is yours.
Sincerely,

kAEdo-k.

Celebrity Dirt -- Britney Booby Pics from "Gimme More," Lindsay fires her ma, and more!

rachel zoe

is the shit - she dresses and styles errr'one that's someone in beauty land - and charges more than $6,000 a day to find someone an outfit! *dream job*

birdy bird

someone will definitely enjoy munchtime in the big house!

180 days is a long - it's hard out there for a pimp! i bet she wishes paris was still there!

spinderella

spin it up one more time. salt 'n pepa are back - and with they're old cat spinderella too - and with the same ole style that got them crazy cool the first time.

can i please request that en vogue get back together?!

Soulja Boy Tellem - How to Crank That - INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO!

because err'one should know how to crank that!

Britney Spears - Gimme More OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO MUST SEE!

i want more!

i see london, i see france

well as errr'one knows i'm a huge fan of her - but her semi new haircut makes her look very princess diana 'esque.

go back to laguna and don't come out

wonder how you got on laguna beach - it must not'a been that good bc it didn't last.

yay yay for brit brit

so i guess there's been to much shit talked about her lately - so she's droppin' her cd way sooner than later.

it's gonna be out on halloween - i'm bettin' it won't be a scare!!

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Who'd you rather???

Teri Hatcher is 42.
Cindy Crawford is 41.
Who'd you rather???
Boys, girls... weigh in.

Ummm... There's a child inside you. NOT attracting to me! OK. Maybe just a little. But I DON'T feel good about it.

Just watch Christina Aguilera's new fragrance commercial:



That's one hot body double, huh?

Celebrity Dirt -- Britney the Bartender & J-Lo's Baby Pouch

YouTube link'o'the day.

First, there was "CHOCOLATE RAIN!!!"

Then, there was... well, everything else.

Now, to raise the bar back up again, Lisa (Huh??!!!!) from America's Next Top Model, Cycle 5, is hitting the charts and youtube hard with this insta-classic POS video for her (WHAT?!?!!!) song, "Ace of Spades". I nearly threw a brick thru my laptop screen. So, without further ado...

Courtney Love is a cheetah!

Ooph. I know I'm not the king of style, but even I see a fashion faux pas when I see one from time to time.

But at least Courtney Love is smart by making her entourage dress worse than her -- if that's at all possible.

"Pushing Daisies" Makes Me Feel Undead!!!

As lame as it makes me sound, "Pushing Daisies" is the most beautiful, magical, & heart-warming TV series (judging solely on the pilot) that I've seen since "21 Jump Street."

(Don't judge me -- it was a sensitive period in my life.)

Anyway --- LOVE it! Watch it next week... Wednesdays 8pm ABC. Easily my favorite new show in a dismal new show TV season.

Oh yeah... and I love "Kitchen Nightmares" on FOX too. But don't hold that against me. "Pushing Daisies" is ACTUALLY quality.

Hopefully they can keep the magic up past the first few weeks.

Celebrity Dirt -- Britney Spears' Hawaiian Sex Tape!

listen to me!

so yeah this weekend was melissa from the mornin' show on jam'n 94.5's birf'day - and the next day they started talkin' about mah on their show - oh god here it is.



these are the pictures they were talkin' about on it...

Headlines & Links 10-2

What timing... BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE LEAKING! (Gabby)

"Same Girl" Remix -- R.Kelly does his best Dave Chappelle doing R.Kelly (Dirty)

Brody and LC Back Together??? (POTP)

Alicia Keys is DOPE!  (Is "dope" still a viable way to say "very attractive?") (Girls)

Demi Moore just aged 20 years in the past 2 weeks --- LOOK! (OMG)

I think Clay Aiken swallowed a 55 year old heavy man --- LOOK! (Socialite)

A gypsy and the Terminator out shopping yesterday... oh snap... isn't that ______ --- LOOK! (Stab)

OFFICIAL CELEBRITY DIRT BLOG -- Click Here

Celebrity Dirt -- Britney Loses Kids... Again!

This is the Remix.

Ok, this has to be shared. The R. Kelly, Usher, and... T-Pain, (who sounds more and more like Cher in the "Believe" song from early 2000) in -
Same Girl, (Remix)
Can we get a vote on this one? Could this be, lyrically, and possibly completely, the best impression of Dave Chappell, impersonating R. Kelly, done BY R. Kelly? This gets about a 9.6 out of 10 on the unintentional comedy scale. (Oh, and it's a free download, while supplies last, so cop that disk!) -kaedo