Vice President's daughter "powders her nose"...and MORE!!!

Joe Biden's daughter loves her some blow. (fried)

Nick Cannon proves he's Mariah's bitch. (smack)

Ashton Kutcher kisses Demi's ass. (agentbedhead)

Holy bad outfits at the Nick Kids' Choice Awards, Batman! (ayyyy)

Tila Tequila rips celebs apart on Twitter. LOVE IT. (POTP)

Josh Hartnett rushed to the hospital! (gabby)

The economic crisis hits Jennifer Garner in the panties! (bitten)

Shawn Michaels wants Bret Hart to induct him into the WWE Hall of Fame? (wrestling)

Michael Jackson will attend Jade Goody's funeral

Michael Jackson is planning on attending the funeral of British Big Brother star Jade Goody. Jade died last week after a rough battle with cancer. Just days before that, we reported that doctors didn't give her much time left. Michael said that Jade's story really touched him, and he wants to be at the funeral to show his respect for her. He's also told Jade's family that he'll help them in any way he can if they need it.

I know I've shat on Michael before, but I'm officially back on the Team Michael bandwagon. Kiddie touching aside, he seems like a nice (albeit weird, but nice) guy, and I can't wait to hear more music from him. Of course, I hope it doesn't suck ass like U2's new album.

LeAnn Rimes offered a free membership to a website

Doesn't seem like a big deal, right? LeAnn Rimes is a country superstar and all that jazz, so it's not really a big deal or a surprise if she's offered a free lifetime membership to a website, right? Well, when it's a website for cheaters, it is. AshleyMadison.com has offered LeAnn a free lifetime membership after hearing about her affair with co-star Eddie Cibrian. Ashley Madison offers discrete affairs to their members.

Again, just another case of celebrities being absolutely brainless when it comes to cheating. Although, I'd die laughing if she actually accepted the membership.

More details on Shawn Johnson's stalker

We didn't post the story about Shawn Johnson having a stalker on the set of Dancing with the Stars last week since I took a mental health week, but you've all heard the story by now. Some guy thought the 17-year-old gymnast was the love of his life and supposed to have his babies, and when he was arrested his car was searched and a couple of guns, some rope and duct tape were found. Shawn feared her life, and rightfully so, but it turns out the cast of DWTS didn't tell the other contestants about the stalker. The first time they heard about the stalker was when the info was released to the media. Apparently, producers felt the other contestants were safe because the guy only wanted Shawn.

Quite frankly, that's pretty bogus. If I'm a contestant on the show and there's some creepy ass guy who is stalking fellow contestants, I want to know. Either way, whether he only wanted Shawn or not, he's still a frickin nut job, and I like to know about nut jobs that are around me!

Hayden Panettiere wants a big family

Hayden Panettiere has come out and said that when she eventually settles down and gets married, she'd love to have four kids with her husband. She pointed out her Italian roots and said that's what makes her want to have a big family.

Hey I'm all for big families, but good luck finding a guy to settle down with if you're as bitchy as you sound from stories we've heard and posted.

AnnaLynne McCord gets wasted

Nothing like being totally classy (not) while you're out with your co-workers. The cast of 90210 ended up going out to a nightclub for a wrap party to celebrate the end of the first season of the show. While they were there, AnnaLynne McCord got absolutley sh*tfaced and stumbled out of the nightclub at the end of the night and was all over the streets.

To her credit, she did have a Designated Driver. And it's not entirely her fault -- I mean, she's like 50 pounds soaking wet, it probably takes her 2 sips of booze to get wasted!

Is Simon leaving American Idol?

Bad news for you American Idol fans. Simon Cowell may be leaving the show. Now, nothing's been confirmed but Simon has said that he's insanely burnt out between all of the work he does. Right now, he's working on Idol, The X Factor, and Britain's Got Talent. He said all of the work is just too much "pressure" and that "something may have to give."

I honestly think if he left a show, he'd end up leaving Britain's Got Talent. I feel like Idol put him on the map in the States, and The X Factor put him on the map across the pond. Plus, Idol will die without Simon.

Is Nick Cannon struggling to pay off Mariah's engagement ring?

Rumors about Nick Cannon struggling to pay off the engagement ring he bought for Mariah Carey have been all over the place, but Nick is setting the record straight, in his own stuck up way. The story is that Nick is being sued for $500,000 by the jewelry store where he bought the ring after failing to make payments on it, but he said that's "ridiculous" because the ring cost way more than that.

3 words: What. A. Douche.

Leonardo DiCaprio tells Zac Efron to try cocaine?

Oh it's true, it's damn true! Leo DiCaprio DID tell Zac Efron to "try cocaine" -- but it's not like it sounds. Zac was getting advice from Leo, and Leo told him to "try cocaine" if he wanted to mess everything up, because that was pretty much the only way Leo thinks that Zac could mess up his career at this point.

Zac kinda reminds me of a younger Leo. Ya know, around the time everyone was saying Leo was bisexual and all that. (Let that one marinate for a few.)

The Brangelina drama gets worse!

Oh man...relationships are on the rocks all over the place!! Apparently, Angelina Jolie is still so pissed off at Brad Pitt for giving their nanny a backrub that she's not even staying at the house anymore! We reported yesterday that they had been sleeping in separate rooms, but turns out Angie decided to just up and leave to go live in a nearby hotel while Brad's at home with the kids. And it's taking a strain on her professional life, too. Producers and directors had to pull her off the set of her new film to have a chat about her well-being.

Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is sipping on wine with a huge smile on her face.

Mr. JT and Jessica on the rocks?!

OH SNAP!! Justin Timberlake is telling Jessica Biel to move out of their NYC apartment that they got just a few months ago! Justin and Jess are on the rocks because of Justin's wandering eye, but Jess is holding out hope that she can change JT's ways before they take a trip down the aisle.

Umm...problem, Jess. You guys aren't even engaged yet. And Justin even said it recently on Oprah. Of course, I'm the class-less guy crossing my fingers for a break-up so that there's some shot in the dark that I could be Mr. Jessica Biel. Time to hit the gym...

Madonna steals a Malawian child?

Madonna is in the middle of a process to adopt a second child from Malawi, but it's not all roses and buttercups like the first one. The adoption attempt has been delayed until Friday, so that a judge can have a closed-door hearing on Madonna's application. The girl she's trying to adopt, Chifundo James, is about 4 years old and parentless (obviously why Madge is trying to adopt her) -- her mother died shortly after her birth, and her father hasn't really been around. Her grandmother Lucy is super pissed off though, saying that Madonna trying to take Chifundo is "stealing." She's telling Madonna to go pick another girl, because she won't let Chifundo go.

I'm on Team Grandma-dukes, here. Only because Madonna is a frickin nut job and really only adopting these kids to look good in the media, I think.

Candy Spelling isn't sweet to her daughter...and MORE!!!

Yummmm...I'm in the mood for some Deep Fried Whatever -- from that guy who brought you celebrity news polls!! (fried)

Tori Spelling's mom still hates her. (smack)

Madonna adopts another Malawi kid. (stork)

Kathy Griffin looks like an ugly ass cupcake. (ayyyy)

Britney's dad trying to shut down Britney's #1 fan site. (POTP)

Kids' Choice Awards results! NICKELODEON RULES!! (gabby)

Tim Allen is Daddy Toolman! (bitten)

Kevin Nash says Scott Hall isn't doing well. (wrestling)

Hunter Tylo getting married?

For those of you who don't know who Hunter Tylo is, she stars on the soap opera (insert gag here) The Bold and the Beautiful. It turns out that she is engaged to her longtime boyfriend Corey Cofield. Sounds all roses and buttercups, right? It would be if Hunter didn't get a restraining order out on him about 10 months ago because she feared for her life. He's been accused of domestic abuse by a crapload of other women, but Hunter feels like she's safe because he'll never be violent again.

Yeah...she's living in a dream world. I'm surprised she hasn't been beaten by him already, unless she has and it's just underwraps.

Say bye bye to Barbara!

Barbara Walters has decided that it's time to retire. The 79-year-old said that when her contract for The View runs out at the end of the summer, she's not going to renew it because she's burnt out and just wants to relax. Can't say I blame her -- I feel like she's been going non-stop pretty much her whole life. I know she has been for mine...I remember her on 20/20 with Hugh Downs WAY back in the day when I was a kid, and she was doing stuff before that too.

Question is, Barbara always seemed like the main player on The View. Which of the ladies is going to fill in the "leader" shoes, and who will replace her on the show overall? Could we see the return of Rosie?!

Robert Pattinson stinks

I don't mean he's a horrible actor or a sucky person -- I don't really know him and I haven't seen Twilight. BUT...Robert Pattinson stinks. Literally. He's been driving the cast of New Moon crazy but he has mega B.O. and actually said he hates to shower.

How much you wanna bet Dakota Fanning goes Diva on his ass and tweaks on him?

Jennifer Aniston gives up on love

Poor Jennifer Aniston...she's lost all hope on finding someone to spend the rest of her life with. She said that since she divorced Brad Pitt, she's been looking for someone good enough to fill his shoes, but she's striking out. It's gotten to the point where she said she's realizing that no one will ever replace Brad, and she's swearing off marriage.

Poor girl, you can't help but feel bad for her. And I can't help but reiterate how single and classy I am...

Juliette Lewis skanks it up a bit

This makes me want to see Juliette Lewis in concert because she just sounds so unpredictable. While she was performing on stage over the weekend, she flubbed up the lyrics to YMCA. So what did she do after the mess up? Clearly the most logical thing -- walked over to singer Justin Tratner (who happens to be a cross dresser) and shoves her tongue down his throat. Then she hopped on the mic and said, "I just made out with the blond male Grace Jones!"

Classic.

Is Mariah Carey pregnant?

Mariah Carey may be knocked up!! She went on a shopping spree over the weekend and ended up dropping a good chunk of change ($200,000 to be exact) on a pink crib, a highchair, and other furniture from a kid's store. On top of that, she's apparently been eyeing a new house and is planning on having an all-pink nursery.

Sounds like someone knows what kind of baby is gonna pop out of her mommy spot in 9 months...

Sean Penn cheats on his wife!

Recent Oscar winner Sean Penn....well, he's just dumb. Honestly, you'd think Hollywood stars would be smarter if they were gonna screw around on their spouses. Sean went out to dinner with Natalie Portman, then the 2 disappeared for about 45 minutes. But when they left, they were seen heading over to the area that goes to the spa and private rooms. When they came back, they were seen shoving each other's tongues down each other's throats.

Who knew Natalie was such a hussy? And seriously, celebrities...you're always in the public eye. Be smart about cheating! Or..ya know..just don't do it?

Brangelina sleeping in separate rooms!

Brad Pitt is totally screwed. Remember a couple of weeks ago when we reported that Angelina walked in on him rubbing his nanny's shoulders? Well, sucka is STILL in the dog house over it. Angie won't even let him sleep in the same bed as her -- not even in the same room!!

In Brad's defense, I really think he was just being nice. I don't think he has or planned on sleeping with the nanny, but still...what an idiot to give her a back rub in his house with his wife home!! Dummy!!

Mickey Rourke engaged?

While he was in Russia filming Iron Man 2, Mickey Rourke apparently popped the question to a lovely Russian chick. The chick I speak of was Russian boxer-turned-singer Irson Kudikova.

Now don't get me wrong, a girl that can fight is kinda hot (I refer you to my crush on MMA hottie Gina Carano), but I'm pretty sure Mickey just had diarhhea of the mouth when he proposed, and when Irson realizes this, she's probably gonna wanna through a haymaker at him. Mickey = screwed.

Beyonce tells off the critics

Beyonce has been getting a lot of flack for gaining weight, and critics have been saying that her hips look "exaggerated." How does Beyonce fire back? By telling them she has a 19-inch waist.

Ahem...I think it'd be better if we had a brand new photo spread. Ya know, just for proof and stuff.

Teeny boppers scare Robert Pattinson

Apparently there's been so many teenage girls crashing the set of the filming for the second movie in the Twilight series, New Moon, that Robert Pattinson has had to hire Mounties (those are Canadian police, friends) to protect him from getting bum-rushed by the crowds of chicks that reek of statutory.

Lucky for Robert, the Mounties ALWAYS get their man. (Old school wrestling fans will get that reference.)

Jenny McCarthy is a monster in the sack

Seriously, this isn't even me pushing the envelope like I usually do or being sexual. But Jenny McCarthy is a dynamo under the sheets, but unfortunately I'm not telling you this from first-hand experience it. Her ex-husband John Asher is though, and he straight up said that he's jealous that Jim Carrey must be having the best sex of his life because Jenny is apparently into threesomes, lesbianism, and lots of stuff that "no other woman would be willing to try."

Hmm...I'd say that's a step up from Renee Zellweger and her "I just ate a lemon/I gotta poop" face. I picture her to be a total prude.

Okay...vacation time.

So here's the skinny...my schedule last week was absolute insanity, and I tried my best to blog everyday but it got to be a pain in my ass at the end of the week because I was just exhausted. My schedule this week is no better, so there's a good chance that I may not blog at all this week. If I do, it's only going to be the next 2 days, which just seems like kind of a waste, especially since I'm not even sure who of you is checking this site out since I blog my ass off every day (normally) and don't see one comment from anyone. I still love you all, but it's a bit frustrating sometimes feeling like I'm blogging for myself. Sooooo, again, I'm probably going to rest my burnt ass this week and come back swinging next week.

And I hope you all do, too. Kloveyoubye.

Sorry, I suck ass. (Not literally...that'd be kinda gross)

So I thought I'd apologize for blowing all of you off the last couple of days as far as posting goes. My schedule has been all jacked up this week so I'm dragging ass, and honestly, wasn't too motivated to post any stories yesterday. I highly doubt I'll be posting anything today, but Monday I should be back to full blogging health!

Main stuff you missed:

*Natasha Henderson died, which makes me never want to go skiing again

*Rihanna got pulled over

*LeAnn Rimes apparently cheated on her husband, and NOT with me.

*St. Patrick kicked my ass on Tuesday night.

*An excess of Guinness is really bad for your colon.

*Charmin really is the softer choice for your ass.

That is all. I love you all more than I love the absolute gayness of my XBox gamertag: JedzLuvsPancake. Goodbye.

Mary Kate Olsen gets her vampire on...and MORE!!!

Erin Go Bragh! Now crack a Guinness and take a celeb poll!! (celeb news)

Jenna Jameson gives birth to twins! Doctors said they've never seen 2 babies slide out so easy. (smack)

Candy Kirby says goodbye to celeb blogging. BUT...follow her on The Laughing Stork! (candy)

Here's a gift for the ADD fans -- a sparkly dress with pockets! (ayyyy)

Is Mary Kate Olsen trying to land a role in the Twilight series? (POTP)

Get ready for Meltdown Britney v2.0! (gabby)

Taylor Swift rocks her "girl next door" look on a couple mag covers. (bitten)

Painkillers and steroids found in Andrew "Test" Martin's home. (wrestling)

Kirsten Dunst not on board for Spiderman 4?

Director Sam Raimi said the fourth installment to the Spiderman series is a go, now that Sony has slated the release date for May 6, 2011. He said the story just needs to be written, the stars need to be secured and they need to shoot it. He said Tobey Maguire is on board again to play Peter Parker, but Kirsten Dunst hasn't signed on yet to continue her role as Mary Jane Watson. Sam isn't worried though, and said he's sure that she'll sign on for the movie.

How amazingly douchebaggish would Kirsten look if she didn't sign on for the rest of the series? You know what? I say screw her...Megan Fox would be a LOVELY replacement.

MacGyver hitting the big screen!!

In a real throwback to my childhood (ages 2-9, if you were wondering), MACGYVER IS HITTING THE BIG SCREEN!! MacGyver was only the COOLEST show ever on TV at that time (well, next to Perfect Strangers). It starred Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver, a guy who could make a nuclear bomb out of a paperclip, chewing gum, and a fart and followed him in his adventures trying to save people and things and what not. Either way, I'm jacked up that this is hitting the big screen. Just to re-live my childhood a bit, I'm posting the opening MacGyver theme below. Enjoy!!

Hulkster watches Brooke-tini pole dance

Listen, I don't want to start any rumors, but something has crossed my mind and I'm just going to say it. I think it's possible that there's a little incest going on between Hulk Hogan and his daughter Brooke. Now I'm not saying they're actually doing anything sexual, but I think Hulk has a crush on his daughter. Or thoroughly enjoys her body. There was that pic last year where he was seen rubbing oil on his Brooke's ass, and now the other day, he watched Brooke pole dance. For a father who used to get pissed off when his daughter went out of the house in a skirt (at least that's how he acted on Hogan Knows Best), I wouldn't expect him to watch his daughter dance and grind on a pole. But he was in attendance for Brooke's performance at the Ocho Calle Latin festival in Miami over the weekend watch his daughter go all stripper for the audience.

For the record, I was going to post all the pics of her from the festival, but I figured this one, horrid shot was going to do enough damage to your retinas.

Kate Bosworth may be single

The UK's Daily Mail is reporting that Kate Bosworth may have dumped her British model boyfriend James Rousseau because he wasn't willing to move to L.A. with her to "accommodate her work schedule." This hasn't been confirmed or denied, but if it's true, James is a total idiot.

Then again, why is Kate making James pick up his life and move it across the pond? Why doesn't Kate up and move to England? Ohhhh the drama of a Hollywood relationship.

BREAKING NEWS: Natasha Richardson in critical condition

Actress Natasha Richardson is in critical condition at a Quebec, Canada hospital after being involved in a ski accident. There's no details on what happened with the accident or how it's looking for her, but we here at Celebrity Dirt wish her a speedy recovery!

Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot

Want proof (aside from thinking Madonna is a reincarnation of God) that Gwyneth Paltrow is a total dumbass? Apparently, she's opened a chain of gyms (which I didn't even know about...go ahead and call me a horrible celebrity blogger) and decided to charge an easy membership fee $4,500 per year. Mix a crappy economy with a total Moy-tard owner, and it's no wonder that her chain is in jeopardy of having to close.

Because really, here's what goes through peoples' minds when they're about to sign up. "Hmm...pay $4,500 a year at Gwyneth's gym, or $15 a month at the Planet Fitness down the road. Yeah, peace out, Paltrow."

Jesus Luz living with Madonna

I have a theory, and my theory is that Madonna and Jesus Luz are not banging. Okay, well, Madonna seems sick enough in the head to be banging him, but I don't think they're dating at all. Not even after news of Jesus moving in with Madonna was made public. Not only that, but she's apparently cooking all of his meals and taking him to Kabbalah classes.

I'm telling you, they're not dating. Madonna is probably just treating this kid like her son, maybe because she hates that her actual kids have Guy Ritchie's blood in them. But I guarantee you she's being more motherly than girlfriendish. But like I said, I bet they're still bumping uglies.

More fighting for LiLo and SamRo

Ya know, soon enough there's gonna be a time where I just don't write about these fights anymore because they're so common. But apparently the last fight Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into was a big one. They got in a fight at their house that actually got so heated, it led to a broken window. The cops were called by neighbors but when they arrived, Linds and Sam refused to open the door for them.

Please, please, PLEASE someone catch one of these fights on camera. Preferably with clothing be torn off. Thank you.

Bob Barker - Porn Star?!?!?

Holy crap!! Bob Barker was almost a porn star!! Apparently back when he wasn't wearing Depends, Bob was actually a pretty good looking and jacked guy. He did some modeling and while he was posing as a gas station attendant once, he caught the attention of some people in the porn industry and was offered a role in a XXX movie! He turned it down then went on to host The Price is Right, but...can you imagine if Bob's famous line was still "Come on down!"

Hehehe...that would've been awesome.

More proof that Lil' Wayne sucks

I just found this super hilarious. Lil' Wayne is scheduled to perform at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence, RI later on tonight, and apparently they're beefing up security for the show. Now, whether they did that because they think a bunch of gang bangers are gonna go and shoot up the joint, or they're worried about Lil' Wayne himself packing heat (like he did in Boston last October) isn't known to me, but either way, I just think it's hilarious because Lil' Wayne is a scumbag.

Maybe he'll leave his piece at home this time so he can walk through the metal detector to perform. Dumbass.

Danny Masterson is engaged!

Congrats goes out to former That 70s Show star Danny Masterson and his girlfriend of 3 1/2 years, actress Bijou Phillips, for deciding to get hitched! Danny proposed to Bijou on Saturday and she accepted, but no date has been set yet. They actually just wrapped up filming a couple of movies together -- Made for Each Other and The Bridge to Nowhere.

Congrats and good luck!

Jessica Simpson botches her final show

Country fans in Irvine, CA were treated to one of Jessica Simpson's bang-up botch jobs over the weekend on the final show of her run with the Rascal Flatts' Bob That Head Tour. She had to restart 2 separate songs after totally flubbing the lyrics. When she went to bust out Remember That, the second hit off of her debut country album, she forgot the opening lines, telling the crowd she, "said whiskey too early! I messed up! I'm so embarrassed! But I'm starting over again because I really want you guys to hear the lyrics the right way!"

She did the same thing to the opening lines in Still Don't Stop Me, telling the crowd that she "messed up again! I do this all the time!"

If she messes up during her concert all the time and has to restart songs all the time, I have NO desire to go see her live. Unless I'm trashed. And she's in daisy dukes.

The Sheen twins arrive...and MORE!!!

Got a case of the Mondays? Take some celeb polls! (celeb news)

Jade Goody close to losing her battle with cervical cancer. (smack)

Here's the skinny on LiLo's arrest warrant! (candy)

Jamie Kennedy is in love with Jennifer Love Hewitt. (POTP)

Matt Damon confirms that there's more Bourne! (gabby)

My birthday twin Charlie Sheen's twins are here! (bitten)

Jim Ross goes to the hospital, Rey Mysterio injured?! (wrestling)

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem split up?

It's looking like Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem have called it quits. The first clue was at the Oscars when Javier was nowhere in sight to help her celebrate her win for Best Supporting Actress. He was also nowhere to be seen during a party that her friends threw for her to celebrate. And recently, Javier celebrated his 40th birthday and Penelope wasn't there for it.

Sounds like their relationship is ka-putz!! Or should I say...no es bueno.

Paris Hilton wants in New Moon

Now it makes sense why she's been verbally sucking off Robert Pattinson. Paris Hilton said she wants to be in the next movie of the Twilight series, New Moon. She's sick of everyone just thinking she's a big joke (for the record, I think she's a huge whore, not a joke) and wants to be taken seriously as an actress. She thinks she'd be perfect to play one of the vampires, but would even play a victim because she wants in so bad.

Honestly...I kinda think Paris would make a hot vampire. Then again, I have a thing for vampires so your 400-pound Aunt Bertha could probably be a hot vampire to me.

Speaking of Brangelina...

Brad Pitt crossed the line with Angelina Jolie and got a sweet smack in the face for it. Apparently, Angie walked in on Brad giving their nanny a backrub, which is a big no-no. So she went all Mr. and Mrs. Smith on him and smacked him around a bit, then fired the nanny.

You're dating one of the hottest women on the planet, and feel the need to give a nanny a backrub? Really?

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has an imaginary friend

The only reason I'm posting this story is so I can throw in my zinger of a line at the end. But apparently Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has an imaginary friend named Amy who she likes better than her 10,000 other actual siblings.

I bet you anything Angelina is hoping that they're not playing If You Seek Amy. (If no one gets that joke, stop coming to this site.)

Jennifer Aniston doesn't feel the economic recession

I'm not sure I believe this entirely, so take it for what it's worth. People are saying that Jennifer Aniston spends a sh*tload of money in a really short span of time to fill the void of being single and childless at the age of 40. That obviously contradicts what she said just last week in a UK magazine about there being no one true love for someone.

Of course, if it IS true and she wants to throw a few bucks my way, I won't say no.

Robert Pattinson dating Megan Fox?

Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox have been seen out A LOT together lately, mainly at the bar of the hotel that Megan is staying at. And odds are if he's at the hotel having drinks with her, there's a good chance he's also going back to the room with her...

That lucky son of a bumblebee.

Katy Perry in Esquire magazine

Katy Perry hits up the new Esquire magazine (looking totally sexy, by the way), and touches on a bunch of topics during her interview.

On Her Dream Outfit/Performance: "I always wanted to suspend from the ceiling in a twirling banana. I'm going to be inside the banana. So the banana drops into a fruit bowl with the other sparkling, glorious fruit, and their tops pop off and dancers come out and help peel me out of the banana. I have a fascination with fruit."

On Her Aspirations and the Media: "I'd like to say I'd like to be as big as a Gwen or a Madonna, but I think those days of achieving that level are over. The media is bringing everybody down.

On the Paparazzi: "I don't ever do anything to try and bring it upon myself. There are ten thousand other restaurants besides the Ivy. I'm not obsessed with getting my picture taken. You know, there's just so much taken out of context. There’s so much nit-picking. I turned my data alerts off."

On Her Dating Preferences: "I have a soft spot for musicians. If a man could ride this roller coaster with me and come out alive, then I guess we'd deserve each other's company. But I don't really have the right energy to be with somebody right now, because when I love somebody, I love somebody. Like, I want to marry them. I don't date around. I haven’t been on a date."

On Her Esquire Photo Shoot: "I aimed a little bit sexy with the hair. I wanted to just grow up a little bit. I'll be twenty-five this year."

Magazine cover reveals crazy diet for Katie Holmes?

The new Life & Style mag cover came out featuring Katie Holmes with headlines about some insane diet that Tom Cruise is putting her on. Five hour sauna sessions, a crapload of pills, and a liquid diet.

I'd really hope that if this stuff is true, Katie is smart enough to say "Peace out, Holmes." to Tom and get the hell outta that situation.

Former WWE superstar Andrew "Test" Martin found dead

Former WWE superstar Andrew "Test" Martin was found dead in his Tampa, FL apartment on Saturday morning. He was only 33. Apparently, a neighbor saw him laying on the floor through the window, then hours later saw him in the same position, so she called the police. It's not known what caused his death, and an autopsy is scheduled to figure it out, but it's rumored that it has something to do with his drug use back when he was with the WWE. Actually, drug use is what got him fired from the WWE a few years ago. Andrew dated former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler back in the day, and was most recently linked to current Diva Kelly Kelly.

Our condolences go out to Andrew's family and friends.

R.I.P. Ron Silver

Former West Wing star Ron Silver died yesterday morning after losing a 2 year battle with esophageal cancer. He was only 62. He apparently died peacefully in his sleep with his family all around him.

R.I.P., good sir.